What I've learned about handling a compliment for my teaching
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A cartoon depicted people leaving the sanctuary, each greeting the pastor on the way out. One beaming fellow enthusiastically said, "Great sermon, pastor. Everything you said applies to somebody I know!"
Responding to compliments
We can usually tell when someone's compliment is a genuine remark, indicating that the Lord either comforted or challenged the person with His Word. In other instances, we hear "Enjoyed your message" even when the person's nonverbal cues don't match the enthusiasm of spoken words.
In over five decades in vocational ministry, I've discovered that how I respond to compliments says a lot about me.
In my younger years, I felt an excessive need for reassurance that my message was well received. I fastened my identity and sense of significance to the nature of others' responses. Due to insecurity, I relied excessively on positive feedback. When I didn't hear enough commendations, my spirit sank.
More recently, though, God's grace has allowed me to root my identity more in Christ's performance on my behalf, and less on my performance on His behalf. The Lord has gradually weaned me from the perils of perfectionism and performance-orientation.
Here's how I apply that to the moment I receive a positive compliment to my teaching.
What not to say after a compliment
I formerly responded to a sincere compliment in a self-centered manner, in a way that failed to dignify the person speaking to me.
Even when I knew a compliment was genuine, I'd say, "Thank you, but…." Then I'd issue a apology for an inability to remember every word of a Bible verse I quoted from memory.
Or I'd apologize for a five-second lapse in concentration during the message.
Or I'd say, "I appreciate that, but I wish I hadn't started reading an excerpt from the wrong chapter!"
Or in a classroom, I'd say, "Glad you liked the lesson, but I'm sorry about the question that seemed unclear to you at first."
I resorted to self-recrimination over the slightest imperfection in my sermon or classroom presentation.
That response pattern put the spotlight on myself, shifting it away from both the person speaking to me, and the Holy Spirit, who had spoken a personal word through me. I could have explained the doctrines of justification and redemption in detail, yet my self-absorption while receiving a compliment showed that I failed to grasp the implications of my position in Christ. What I knew cognitively about the basis for my identity had not settled into my affective domain.
What to say after a compliment
Now I don't add a "but" or any other word of qualification to my response.
I say, "Thank you!" and strive to put the focus on the person speaking to me, or on the author of the Bible Himself. I warmly look the person in the eye and say…
- "I appreciate that! I'm glad you were open to what God's Spirit wanted to say to you today."
- "Thank you! I appreciate your attentiveness to God's Word. I sense that you have a teachable spirit."
- "I'm overjoyed that God spoke personally to you. Thanks for letting me know!"
- "Oh thanks! I'm glad God spoke to you in a similar way He spoke to me as I prepared for today. It means a lot that you shared that with me."
Even if I'm not convinced a remark is genuine, I say, "Thank you. So glad to see you today."
If I'm aware of a minor gaffe in my sermon or Bible lesson, I don't mention it. (How would you feel if you were expressing gratitude to a teacher or speaker, and he kept shifting the focus to areas in which he could have done better?)
When you receive a compliment, remember that the occasion isn't about you. It's about the God whose Word has efficacy and about the person who's speaking to you.
Give gratitude to God
Though someone's affirmation may be God's way to encourage us in a time of need, let's also remember that praise serves as a test of our faith. According to Proverbs 27:21, "The crucible is for silver and the furnace for gold, and a man is tested by the praise accorded him."
That's why, after speaking, I make an effort to thank God for the grace-gift of teaching, and for doing what only He can do: funnel what I say through learners' heads for understanding, and into their hearts for reflection and application.
 | Dr. Terry Powell is Faculty Emeritus at Columbia International University, in S. C., where he is an Adjunct Professor in Church Ministries. Dr. Powell writes a blog on faith and depression entitled Penetrating the Darkness. He is the author of Serve Strong,which helps volunteers as well as vocational Christian workers combat discouragement, persevere through weariness, and cultivate endurance for the long haul. Learn More » |
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