Thoughts on how to talk to people about God

Carey Nieuwhof Jan. 27, 2025

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More and more I'm seeing at the end of the day all we've got is our relationship with God and with people. Not the idea of a relationship, but the reality of a relationship. Ups and downs, pain and tears, weirdness and wonder, triumph and high fives. The full package. There's no escaping it.

The single best way to get people to come with you and eventually meet Jesus is to personally invite them.

But I know most of us are skittish on jeopardizing our relationships over a church invitation. Most of us are scared to open the conversation. I've been collecting random thoughts on how to overcome these hurdles. I hope they help:

Pray for people. If you're scared out of your pants to invite someone to church, tell God about it. Then ask God to be with you when you chat with them. Pray that God would move in their heart. It's amazing how God actually cares more about people than we do, but we forget that. So pray for them (and yourself).

Try talking about church, not God.We all feel awkward going up to someone and saying "so…what's the state of your heart when it comes to Jesus?" I do, and I'm a pastor. So unless you really feel you need to say that, don't. Instead, ask someone what they think about church. Then tell them about your church and what it's like, and you'll have more than 3 minutes of stuff to talk about.

Last week, I had a 25-minute conversation with a 22-year-old who hates church and whose body piercings had piercings. Every third word was "dude"…but he and I engaged in a great conversation at length. I was out of our community, but I believe if he would have lived in our neighbourhood, he would have come. You just never know.

Admit you're an idiot and don't have all the answers.First of all, they already know you're an idiot and don't have your life fully together. Second, admitting you don't have the answers takes pressure off both of you. After all, very few people get 'informationed' into heaven. Most of us get loved there. A real dialogue with real people based on love goes a long way. Be real.

Pray some more.Remember…God loves you more than you love yourself and He loves them more than anyone every will. He's just using you as a channel.

Who are you praying for? When are you going to chat with them? What fears keep you up at night? Anyone say yes already that shocked you?

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Carey Nieuwhof is a former lawyer and founding pastor of Connexus Church. He’s the author of several best-selling books, including, Didn’t See It Coming: Overcoming the Seven Greatest Challenges That No One Expects But Everyone Experiences. Carey speaks to leaders around the world about leadership, change and personal growth. Learn More »

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