The power of your fence-post story
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"Tell us your fence-post story."
That's how we start nearly every episode of the Throwing Mountains podcast.
Host Mike Hatch and I decided to incorporate fence-post stories in the podcast because we had seen the power of these stories in Christ Led Communities (CLC), a discipleship ministry that encourages men to develop brotherhood bonds by doing life together. Now, after more than two years of doing the podcast, we've witnessed the power of fence-post stories for listeners and guests.
What Is a fence-post story?
When you look at a fence, you see mostly a horizontal structure that provides a boundary, often on the edge of a property. The horizontal pieces or components of the fence do not rest on the ground. In fact, they may not touch the ground at all.
They are anchored to the ground by posts. Without those posts, the fence would not maintain its shape or function.
A fence can serve as a metaphor for the story of someone's life. With this metaphor, each post in the fence represents a key event or person that helped to shape the fence—perhaps changing its direction or solidifying it as it passed over some rough terrain.
Of course, God is the foundation of everyone's life "fence." God uses the posts—events and people—to draw us and anchor us to Him.
Telling your fence-post story requires you to examine your life, identify the key posts in it, and reflect on how God has used those posts to shape you and bring you where you are today.
How telling your story changes other people
CLC is a relational discipleship ministry in which men forge connections with the other men in their group. At the outset, the members of a group may be virtual strangers, and it's tough to connect with a guy if you don't know him.
The best way to get to know a man is to hear his story. But most men have little experience with telling their own story. When you ask a man to talk about himself, he is likely to give you his resume, not reveal his heart. The fence-post story framework provides a consistent structure and focus, making it straightforward for every man to tell his story.
When you tell your story—your real story—to other men, four things happen to those men:
1. They get to know you by seeing you through your own eyes instead of their own. This helps the men overcome subconscious barriers they may not know exist.
2. They find common ground with you. Whatever the posts in your story, other men have had similar experiences and encountered similar people. These men feel empathy toward you and will be ready to come alongside you in prayer and support when you need it.
3. They reconsider their own stories. Men are tough on themselves and focus a lot of attention on what they consider failures in their lives. When men hear your story—including your mistakes, weaknesses, and even failures—they are likely to see their own "negatives" in a new light. They may even be willing to forgive themselves for past sins.
4. They are drawn to Christ. Ultimately, your fence-post story is the story of your relationship with God and how Jesus has worked in your life to draw you to the Father. Men understand this. The more they spot Jesus in your story, the more they spot him in their own stories.
How telling your story changes you
Most CLC participants, and most of our podcast guests, find it difficult to tell their fence-post stories.
One reason is that, with our busy lifestyles, we rarely pause to reflect on much of anything. Formulating your fence-post story, however, requires you to reflect on how God has brought you to where you are today.
To use a business analogy, it requires you to drop your tactical approach to your life and consider it from a strategic perspective.
That takes time. And energy. And prayer. But it's time and energy and prayer well spent.
Your fence-post story will enable other men to see you through your eyes.
But it will enable you to see yourself through the eyes of your Maker, your Savior, and your Redeemer, the architect of your story who has been with you every step of the way.
Your story matters. To you. To others. And to God.
 | Chris Bolinger is the author of three men’s devotionals – 52 Weeks of Strength for Men, Daily Strength for Men, and Fuerzas para Cada Día para el Hombre – and the co-host of the Throwing Mountains podcast. He splits his time between northeast Ohio and southwest Florida. Against the advice of medical professionals, he remains a die-hard fan of Cleveland pro sports teams. Find him at mensdevotionals.com. Learn More » |
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