Tasks versus people: which should I choose?
"I can write about helping pastors, or I can actually help them."
This was the statement I made to my wife sitting out on our patio the other morning. As we talked over coffee, I was facing choices about my agenda for the day. There were a couple of situations that had come up recently requiring hands on involvement in the ministry of helping pastors. But I had planned on doing some long overdue writing for my blog, a task that has eluded me over the last couple of months. What has kept me from writing? Because I have been actually working at helping pastors—preparing seminars, having lunch, talking on the phone, walking with people in crisis, setting up Pastor in Residence programs.
And so, there on a bright summer morning, real life battled with my expectations.
I have faced this often in my life; and it continues to be a struggle. I am deeply committed to people, but I can also be deeply obsessed with accomplishing my agenda. The horns of my dilemma – tasks vs. people! When I have opted for the former, it has been easy to shut others out and not be present in the moment. I can get grumpy when my plan gets interrupted. Clearly, there are tasks that are important to tackle – things do need to get “done.” But it has been my inability to loosen my grip on the day—on my agenda—that has made many days miserable and unfruitful in a more lasting way.
It has taken awhile, but I am learning to step back from the emotions that hijack my ability to see the bigger picture—emotions like frustration, annoyance and anxiety. It is not a pretty picture sometimes. And I definitely need help – from my wife and others—to challenge my default mode. An actual willingness to listen to their input has often resulted in a better grasp of what I am feeling and what the real priorities need to be.
So, I am in process. And the sense I have is that I am moving in the right direction. God’s agenda is always more deeply satisfying. The paradigm of “people over projects” is mostly true. (I am still not fully convinced!). However, I am convinced that our treasures in heaven are not completed with “to do” lists.
According to my resident equestrian expert, having a “death grip” on the reins of a horse typically doesn’t result in the best ride. It is counter-intuitive. But light contact and a deeper seat in the saddle create the kind of connection that makes for an effective ride. I sometimes find it difficult to release my death grip on how I think a day should go.
When I was pastoring, I remember not always being at my best for people. My mind was on what I was not doing, what I could be doing other than actually listening, caring, helping. Go figure!
So now, it is becoming easier to step back, to loosen my grip. When God completely turns my day upside down, I find there is a new grace that frees me to be present in the moment and adjust my agenda to His. I think it is a good choice.
What about you?
Photo source: istock
 | Roy Yanke is the Executive Director of PIR Ministries, a national ministry of renewal and restoration for pastors and their families. Roy has been a workshop presenter for a variety of ministry seminars around the country on the topic of pastoral self-care. He has been the principle speaker for pastor's retreats, and is also a regular guest lecturer at Grand Rapids Theological Seminary. Roy pastored for 17 years before experiencing his own crash and burn; Roy and Deb live in the metro Detroit area. Learn More » |
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