I tried this low-conflict way to respond to my critic

Tom Harper Nov. 8, 2017

my saved content

VIEW AS
A PDF

iStock

I was shocked when I found out a colleague had criticized me behind the scenes.

Quelling the desire to defend myself, I decided to try a technique I had just learned from Gideon.

In the book of Judges, Gideon marshals three hundred troops to chase the Midianite army, calling on surrounding tribes to assist. After a small victory of their own, some of the tribal chiefs complain about missing the glory of Gideon’s main battle.

The text says they criticize him “violently.” But rather than respond in kind, he says, “God gave Oreb and Zeeb, the Midianite leaders, into your hands. What was I able to do compared to you?” (Judges 8:3).

These tribal leaders want credit for a victory – any victory. When Gideon lifts up their accomplishments over his own, their jealousy and anger subside. When I tried this with my colleague, we soon reconciled and he agreed to avoid negative comments in the future.

You and I likely won’t ever lead an army into battle, but Gideon’s simple yet effective technique might help you avert conflict with your coworkers.

You may want to write this sentence on a post-it and hide it in your desk – a simple reminder of Gideon’s secret:

When you build up your critics, they tend to put you down less.

my saved content

VIEW AS
A PDF

Tom Harper is publisher of BiblicalLeadership.com and executive chairman of Networld Media Group, a business-to-business publisher and event producer. He has written five books, including Servant Leader Strong: Uniting Biblical Wisdom and High-Performance Leadership (DeepWater Books, 2019) as well as the Christian business fable Through Colored Glasses and its sequel Inner Threat (DeepWater, 2022). Learn More »

• Unique problems grow you uniquely (by Richard Blackaby)
• They tried to quiet Charlie Kirk—but the gospel still speaks (by Bob Russell)
• The power of an unoffendable heart (by Tom Crenshaw)
• How did Jesus deal with animosity? (by Chris Bolinger)

Free eBook

Success Unlocked: The Transformative Power of Questions

This isn’t just another leadership book—it’s your invitation to discover how Christ-centered questions can transform the way you lead and live. Packed with real stories and timeless wisdom, it shows you how to grow your influence, deepen your faith, and lead with the same life-changing impact Jesus did.

Download Now