How to effectively navigate difficult decisions

Ralph Mayhew Aug. 11, 2018

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Have you ever had to make a very difficult decision? You weigh the pros and cons only to discover that the answer you're looking for is still not obvious. Of course, we all have!

You may be facing decisions like changing jobs, investing heavily in a creative idea, committing a significant amount of time to something or choosing between two really good and healthy options or people. The list goes on and on.

Regardless of the complexity or significance of a decision, the traditional method of calculating the benefits and detriments of a particular choice and going with the greater list isn’t as helpful as we need it to be. Sometimes one pro can outweigh a large list of cons, just as one con can outrank all of the reasons for something.

Jesus was a master at making great decisions, from the words he uttered when a women was dragged before him to be stoned (John 8:1-11), to a blind man wanting to see again (Mark 10:51), to the way he approached the Pharisees (Matthew 12:34) and later the cross. Jesus put on a clinic for incredible decision-making.

Developing a decision matrix

An effective way to navigate difficult decisions is to develop a decision matrix.

The Merriam Webster dictionary defines matrix as something within or from which something else originates, develops or takes form.

This is a method to work out what is important to you, and from that create a set of questions you can then filter a difficult decision through.

Recently, I was approached to take on a significant role in the community, in which Village Church (which I pastor) exists. Let me show you how I developed and used a decision-making matrix to assist me in deciding what to do.

I value a number of things dearly, which are all important factors in my decisions making, shaping my decision matrix:

Time: Will this be a good use of my time in relation to my wife, my family and my other commitments?

Community: Will this role really help the community, in a way only doing this role can?

Skills: Am I able to contribute to this role significantly, based on the skills I have?

Organizational: Is it truly beneficial for the organization if I take this role on?

Humility: Can I sincerely say that I don’t want to do this because it makes me look good or be more respected?

Service: Is this a true act of service, which I am doing with no desire to benefit from?

Fit: Does this opportunity fit with who I am, what my family values and what I feel I should be doing?

Calling: Does this affirm and further the call God has put on me to do what I do? For me this factor carries far more weight than all the others.

Most people just use the time-consideration as a determining framework, and the result is usually the same “I’m too busy.” 

The problem is, anyone who breathes feels too busy, rendering this question by itself unhelpful. 

Time is a matter of priority. My priority occupies my time. Time is just what I spend fulfilling my priorities.

Additional questions to consider

For decisions different from the one I had to make, there are other questions that may be helpful to build into your decision matrix. For example:

Money: Can we sustain the cost of this?

Resources: Is this important enough to us that we will commit ongoing resources to its success?

Integrity: Will this opportunity shape my character?

Timing: Is this the right time to engage in this opportunity?

Culture: Is this opportunity congruent with who we are and what we are about?

Opportunity: Will this opportunity likely lead to other opportunities I’d like to pursue?

There is no limit to the questions you may find helpful in assisting you. Developing a decision-making matrix of key questions you need to explore significant decisions will help you to think through the complexity.

I like each of my questions to be answered in the affirmative before I proceed with a decision. You may want to choose a different strategy, as each question may have a different weight of importance to you. The process isn’t meant to be scientific. It’s meant to equip you to think more thoroughly about complex decisions.

Photo source: istock 

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Rev. Ralph Mayhew has been leading people for more than 20 years. He is a lead pastor, author and seminary lecturer in practical theology and ministry and has a Masters in Christian Leadership. At the beginning of 2017, after 14 years of ordained ministry, he planted Burleigh Village Church; a local church encouraging people to think Jesus. He has written several books among them The Anonymous Leader: An Unambitious Pursuit of Influence and How To Create The Organizational Culture You Want.

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