How fair, candid, and caring is your feedback?

Mark Deterding Aug. 5, 2019

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Servant leadership is many things, but one thing it is not is “soft.” Servant leaders have high expectations, both for themselves, as well as for their team.

One key way that servant leaders make things better in an organization is to create and share clear, reasonable, and measurable expectations and performance goals. Then they measure performance and hold everyone accountable for their responsibilities.

Performance feedback is fairly straightforward when a clearly defined purpose, values and behaviors, as well as performance expectations, are well understood. Once you’ve set and communicated those key parts of the organization, building performance gets a lot easier.

When expectations are clear you don’t have to debate them. The conversation shifts to whether or not team members are doing what they’re expected to do.

Servant leaders understand that feedback is a vital aspect of building performance. People need to know where they stand, what is going well, and where they can improve.

Everyone craves fair, candid and caring feedback about his or her performance. The sad truth is that many people have never gotten that kind of feedback. And many leaders have never learned how to give it.

Your feedback is fair when expectations are clear and reasonable. Fairness is also about consequences. People will accept correction and discipline if they feel that the praise or punishment fits their actions and if they feel that everyone is treated fairly.

Your feedback is candid when you tell the truth and describe things accurately. This is honesty, but it’s not “brutal honesty.” It’s compassionate honesty. You should tell the truth, but never be hurtful on purpose.

Your feedback is caring when it’s delivered in the spirit of servant leadership. Tailor your feedback to the individual and the situation. Make sure your feedback will help the team and the individual team member do better next time.

Giving fair, candid and caring feedback is one of the ways you serve as a leader. Here are eight keys to getting it right.

1. Provide frequent feedback. If you are around your people a lot, you will be there when things happen that need improvement or cry out for praise. Seize the moment.

2. Have regular one-on-one meetings with your team members. Set aside time to meet with individual team members every week or two to discuss their performance, behavior and goals. Treat the one-on-ones as high priority meetings.

3. Results should always be measured against clear and agreed upon performance and values expectations. If you don’t do this it’s impossible to be fair.

4. Feedback should be candid, clear, and focused. Give feedback on specific behavior or performance. That means things that can be observed or measured.

5. Explore and acknowledge their viewpoints. Do this early in the conversation. You may discover you have the facts wrong or that there’s a good reason for what happened. Start by telling your team member what you’re going to discuss and why it matters. Then wait for them to speak.

6. Celebrate successes. The purpose of feedback is to improve performance and behavior. Too many bosses think that means “correcting” team members and nothing more. But legitimate praise is the most powerful tool you have to do more good things. Catch people doing things right. Then praise them for it.

7. Develop game plans for improvement in areas where necessary. Some things can be changed after one feedback conversation, but many will take time. When that’s the case develop a simple plan and review progress at every one-on-one.

8. Follow up. The purpose of feedback is to get performance or behavior to change. Your work isn’t done until that happens. After the conversation, follow up to make sure that the changes you agreed to have happened.

These principles apply to our leadership in all aspects of our lives, not just in the professional realm. As a parent or friend, we can serve others as well by effectively providing fair, candid and caring feedback. It will build performance, and as a servant leader, that is our job!

“God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them”  (Hebrews 6:10).

Photo source: istock 

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Mark Deterding is the founder and principal of Triune Leadership Services, LLC. In 2011 he formed Triune Leadership Services to follow his passion of working with leaders to help them develop core servant leadership capabilities that allow them to lead at a higher level and enable them to achieve their God-given potential. He is married to his wife Kim, and they have two sons, two lovely daughter-in-laws, and three wonderful grandchildren. This article was first published on triuneleadershipservices.com. Used with permission. Learn More »

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