40 things I’ve learned in 40 years of ministry

Thom Rainer Feb. 11, 2025

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It was forty years ago that I began serving a small rural church in southern Indiana. I was so incredibly green then; I'm glad I didn't always realize it. I loved those people in that church, and for some reason, they loved me, too. I had to be one of the most inept pastors in history, but they just continued to show me grace and love me even more.

Now, four decades later, I reflect on what I've learned in ministry. Some lessons came rather naturally; others were very painful.

1. God is always faithful. Always. Always. Always.
2. My family is my greatest gift beyond my salvation. I wish I had always realized it.
3. I spent too much time worrying about things that I can't even remember today.
4. I took too many criticisms personally. Most critics weren't mad at me.
5. I always grow stronger when I spend time in the Word and prayer.
6. My wife endured a lot in our ministry. I needed to minister to her more.
7. When I can laugh at myself, I am more effective in ministry.
8. I learned to be more compassionate through the deaths of my parents and grandson. I can now understand the pain many experience.
9. I am always hurt when I hold grudges.
10. I need to ask for forgiveness more quickly.
11. I need friends to share both the joys and the challenges of ministry.
12. I wish my sons had not seen my frustrations when I was a pastor or a dad or a husband.
13. Life is short. Live it totally for Him every moment.
14. I should stand stronger for injustice.
15. Some of my most miserable days came when I grew jealous of others in ministry.
16. Some other miserable days came when I lived to please people rather than God.
17. When I don't take care of myself physically, ministry seems more of a burden than a joy.
18. Children are young but for a season. Some of my greatest joys have been with my three sons.
19. One of the greatest blessings of life is to have adult children who are my best friends.
20. I'm not nearly as smart as I sometimes think I am.
21. I've never seen an argument won on social media.
22. The local church is the best imperfect place on earth.
23. I am always wiser when I listen to the wisdom of others.
24. Too often, I list my problems rather than count my blessings.
25. The devil is always looking for a way to trap me (1 Timothy 3:7).
26. The internet never forgives or forgets.
27. My success is not measured by the size of my church or the prestige of my organization.
28. I've had a lot of grace shown to me. I need to pass that gift forward more.
29. Many people who disagree with me have proved right.
30. I am ashamed of how many times I have not shared the gospel.
31. The older I get, the more I anticipate heaven with excitement. I wish I had always had that perspective.
32. I've needed to demonstrate kindness more intentionally and more frequently.
33. Every church has some really mean people. God has called me to love and serve them, too.
34. I fight pride more often than I'd like to admit.
35. Some of my worst moments in ministry were when I lost my temper.
36. I've learned who my true friends are when I have little to offer them.
37. I need to practice the discipline of repentance more frequently.
38. Encouragement works better than harsh words.
39. I need to read more.
40. My grandchildren are almost perfect.

What have you learned in life and ministry? What can you add to this list?

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Thom S. Rainer is the founder and CEO of Church Answers, and online community and resource for church leaders. Prior to founding Church Answers, Rainer served as president and CEO of LifeWay Christian Resources. Before coming to LifeWay, he served at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary for twelve years where he was the founding dean of the Billy Graham School of Missions and Evangelism. He is a 1977 graduate of the University of Alabama and earned his Master of Divinity and Ph.D. degrees from The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. Learn More »

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