4 ways to show you actually care
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As a leader, do your co-workers and direct reports know how you feel about them? How good is the communication between your team? Do they know you value their input, their position on the team, their contribution?
More than job performance, do they know you actually care about them as individuals?
Here are four ways to show that you actually CARE— C (curiosity) A (attention) R (reliability) E (extending).
1. Be curious.
Questions are a superpower for leaders. They show you care about the person you're talking to, but only when you ask good questions and remember the answers. Be curious. Play 20 questions about their life. Let one question lead to another and another and another. If you don't understand something, ask a question about it. If you're intrigued by something, ask about their experience of it or feelings toward it. If you're not sure what to ask, make it a simple question or change the topic with your question.
Mark Miller, in his new book, Smart Leadership,wrote: "A well-crafted and thoughtful question can be just what you need in many situations." We are curious as we leverage the super-power of asking questions. Questions are free and they are available to every person at every level. We show others we care when we are curious, ask good questions, and actually listen to and remember their answers.
2. Pay attention.
Following close on the heels of curiosity is paying attention. When we ask questions, we have to listen. We pay attention in the moment and maybe even take notes to remember later.
When asking about their family life, we pay attention to their family structure, the way they talk about their parents or kids or spouse, their hobbies and that helps inform how we ask questions later.
We show we've paid attention by following up the next week or after their kid's competition or spouse's surgery. We show students we care when we pay attention to what they say, how they're feeling, and what's going on in their lives.
3. Be reliable.
Can your co-workers and direct reports count on you to show up, to bring energy, and to be fully present mentally, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually? Do they know they can rely on you to keep their confidence if they share something personal or professional with you?
As leaders, reliability is more than just doing a good job consistently. It is also showing up and being present for those we work with in a way that helps them know we are rooted firmly on our Rock. It doesn't mean we always have every answer, but people know what to expect from us. They aren't expecting emotional outbursts and continual frustrations. Instead, they know they can rely on a stable leadership presence. We show we care as we show we are reliable.
4. Extend an invitation.
Lastly, leaders show they care by extending an invitation. This is the "open door" policy idea.
We extend the invitation to let our co-workers and direct reports know we are approachable. We are not too important or too busy. The job is not more important than the person.
Instead, we extend the invitation. While the door may not actually be always open, we let them know that we are approachable my modeling an approachable attitude. We extend the invitation, and keep extending the invitation. Then, when someone accepts the invitation, we are curious, we pay attention and we are reliable.
These are four simple, basic strategies, but when we implement them into our leadership, they can make a significant difference in our leadership development, work culture, team dynamics and more.
 | Ben Marshall is a Pastor at Pathway Church in Beaver Falls, Pennsylvania. He works with teenagers and young adults. He is passionate about leadership and raising up the next generation of biblical leaders. He is a blogger, guitar player and sports enthusiast. Ben currently resides in Beaver Falls with his wife Connie and their two daughters, Aliya and Sophie Learn More » |
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