You need to know this one secret to effective leadership

Christian Muntean May 15, 2022

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Leaders lead out of who they are. You are your greatest leadership tool. Because of this, it is an obligation of leadership to continually work on your growth and wellness.

Fearful or insecure leaders tend to either be rigid, defensive, or vacillating. Angry leaders may be reactive, spiteful, or dominating. Depressed leaders may withdraw or be unpredictable.

Conversely, confident leaders are both able to set a clear direction and welcome input that may alter that direction.

Calm and reflective leaders are able to respond appropriately and with the right balance of engagement and authority. Resilient, positive leaders engage challenges and disappointments as opportunities.

Healthy leadership is similar to physical wellness. To a large degree, we are products of what we eat and our environment.

OK—so what contributes to wellness and what inhibits it?

Leadership toxins

Toxin #1: Your core story. By this, I mean the narrative that influences or directs your life.

We all have one. Basically, this is the 'deep' story that we believe we are part of. For most of us, it was developed over thousands of repeated experiences and messages that formed our sense of who we are.

For some of us, there are specific, significant incidents that shaped our perspective. Either way this sense of 'who we are' and 'how we fit' continues to guide or influence our behavior.

These stories could be tied to our family, school experiences, social class, ethnicity or gender, or any other number of things.

In most situations, the story we are living is primarily reactive to experiences in the past.

Because it is reactive, we tend to recreate aspects or components of the story. This contributes to self-perpetuation.

Which is a good thing when our story is good.

Cleanse:Author and academic leader Walter Wright says our core beliefs shape our character.

Character shapes our values. Our values form our relationships. Our relationships inform our behavior. Our behavior leads to whether we (as leaders) create cultures where others can thrive.

If we do, this leads to profits, success in goals, etc.

1. Take time to understand what makes you tick. What do you believe is true about life? This may feel abstract, but it is also unavoidable. Do you believe there is an answer to the question, "What is the purpose of life?" Whatever your honest answer is will impact the choices you make.
2. Determine what in your story is still true and what isn't. Many of us are reacting, as adults, to experiences and constraints that were true decades ago but no longer are.
3. Determine what you want your story to be. Some people live their entire lives as a reaction to the past and to events around them. Effective leaders can't. Who do you want to be, and what do you want to be about?
4. Begin to rewrite your story. Figure out the support you need and the steps you need to take to create a future shaped by a healthy version of who you are and who you want to become.

Toxin #2: Unhelpful relationships.Jim Rohn observed that we are, "the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with." I don't know how empirically accurate those numbers are, but human beings are social. Our neurology is designed to automatically mirror those around us.

Am I surrounding myself with the kinds of people I'd like to become? Are my primary relationships with people who are creative, encouraging, growing and building the kinds of lives that I aspire to?

If not, am I comfortable with the idea that my closest relationships may give me hints of my future?

Cleanse:Effective leaders are those who avoid crashing and burning, surround themselves with good, motivational friends, family and mentors.

Take a relationship inventory. What are your highest values and goals? What do you hope for in terms of personal, professional, relational, or spiritual development? Are your closest friendships with people who pull you in those directions? Or are they people who are stagnant or stalled in life or profession? Or are they people who are moving in contrary directions?

Do you want to move to the next level in leadership? Do you hope to sustain effective, influential leadership over the long haul?

You'll need to spend much less time around people who are not drawing you forward and much more time around those who are.

Toxin #4: Unhelpful/repetitive habits.These are lifestyle choices that do not contribute to or detract from health.

They may be as simple as poor time management and organizational disciplines. It may be as personal as poor sleeping and eating habits—which prevent us from operating at our best during the day.

They may extend to addictive behaviors and self-medication. Either way, we all tend to develop patterns of behavior that really don't serve us well.

What are yours? What if making a change is a key to unlocking new capacities in leadership?

Cleanse:Changing behavior is often a challenging process.

You'll find that working on the first two toxins will help you with this one.

Spending time with groups of people who demonstrate the behaviors or disciplines you are looking for will help you.

Being coached by someone is also very helpful.

Joining groups of peers who are growing and changing specific behaviors is often critical.

None of these leadership toxins are necessarily easy to address. However, many leaders find themselves stuck, hitting a ceiling or struggling again and again with the same challenges.

If you aren't growing and expanding in the way that you hop—look at these toxins and begin pursuing ways to increase your leadership health.

Detox. You'll lead better and feel better.

It's the beginning of healthy, effective and impactful leadership.

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Christian Muntean is a seasoned expert in fostering business growth and profitability. With a Master's degree in Organizational Leadership and certifications as a Master Coach, Certified Exit Planning Advisor (CEPA), and International Mergers & Acquisitions Expert (IM&A), he guides entrepreneurial leaders through growth, succession planning, and exit strategies. He is an accomplished author of three books, including Train to Lead. Christian resides in Anchorage, Alaska, with his family.  Learn More »

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