Wrestling with bad habits and God

Chris Bolinger March 5, 2023

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"For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
—2 Corinthians 12:10

I hate my tennis serve.

In tennis, the serve is the only shot over which you have complete control. If you serve well, then you'll get some "free" points, such as:

• An ace, or unreturned serve
• A service winner, where your opponent's return fails to land in the court
• A weak return, which you can hit for a winner

If you serve poorly, then your opponent can gain the advantage and "break" your serve, or win a game when you are serving. In competitive tennis, service breaks are relatively rare, because most players serve well.

Not me. My serve is not a weapon. It's a liability.

Years ago, I developed some bad habits in the mechanics of my serve. When I'm on the practice court with a basket of balls, those bad habits seem to go away, and my serve is amazing. (Really. I've got some video on my phone to prove it.) But when I play in a match, my bad habits return, and my serve falls apart.

Someone else who had some deeply ingrained bad habits was Jacob, the son of Isaac and grandson of Abraham. These bad habits included lying to and manipulating others.

As a young man, Jacob tricked his dying father into giving a blessing to Jacob instead of his twin brother Esau. To avoid Esau's wrath, Jacob fled to the home of his uncle Laban. There, Jacob amassed wealth and built a family, but he couldn't shake his bad habits. His uncle reinforced those habits by lying to and manipulating Jacob.

Eventually, Jacob fled again, this time with his large family and many herds in tow. When he learned that Esau and 400 men would meet them on the road, Jacob was terrified. He sent lavish gifts ahead. He sent his wives, children, and possessions ahead.

When Jacob was all alone in a desert wilderness, God came in the form of a man and wrestled with Jacob. All night. At dawn, God crippled Jacob with a blow to the hip, but Jacob refused to yield. In fact, he demanded a blessing from God.

God gave it. And he gave Jacob a new name, Israel, which likely means "he struggles with God."

That name, and the weakened hip' which plagued Jacob the rest of his life, were reminders of the blessing. God had his back. As evidence, when Jacob met with his estranged brother, Esau received him gladly (see Genesis 33).

Wrestling with God didn't cure Jacob of all his bad habits. But it taught him that the more he depended on God, the stronger—and better—he would become.
I'd love to have God fix my serve but, apparently, I've got other bad habits that are a higher priority for Him, so I'm trying to lean on Him more for those.

Maybe I can get my wife to film me serving during my next match.

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Chris Bolinger is the author of three men’s devotionals – 52 Weeks of Strength for Men, Daily Strength for Men, and Fuerzas para Cada Día para el Hombre – and the co-host of the Throwing Mountains podcast. He splits his time between northeast Ohio and southwest Florida. Against the advice of medical professionals, he remains a die-hard fan of Cleveland pro sports teams. Find him at mensdevotionals.com. Learn More »

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