Why some leaders fail to connect with their people

Tom Crenshaw

Why some leaders fail to connect with their peopleAdobe

In The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership John Maxwell writes, "You have to touch a heart before you ask for a hand."

People must identify with you relationally and emotionally before they buy into your leadership.

Too often, leaders ignore this principle. They assume because they are the leader, their people will or should automatically follow them.

However, unless a leader is willing to take the time and effort to build a solid relationship with his people, he can't expect them to support and follow him.

People will do things with you because they like you, and if your people don't like you, they probably won't trust you or go along with you.

This is a tough law for leaders because they are often unwilling to do the relational homework necessary to connect with their people.

A locomotive has to back up to connect with the other cars.

Connecting is the leader's responsibility, and it takes time and patience to build those relationships.

As a former coach, I know that one may possess a supreme knowledge of the game, but if your players don't like you, you probably are not going to be very successful.

The stronger your relationship with your players, the more successful you will be.

Maxwell writes, "It is one thing to communicate to people because you believe you have something of value to say. It's another to communicate with people because you believe they have value." If people don't like you, they won't go along with you.

It may sound corny, but it's true. "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care."

Herb Kelleher the founding president of Southwest Airlines, who was known for connecting with his people. On Boss's Day in 1994 his people took out a full-page ad in USA Today and addressed the following message to Kelleher.

"Thanks, Herb for remembering every one of our names.

For supporting the Ronald McDonald house.

For helping load baggage on Thanksgiving.

For giving everyone a kiss (and we mean everyone).

For listening.

For running the only profitable major airline.

For singing at our holiday party.

For singing only once a year.

For letting us wear shorts and sneakers to work.

For golfing at the LUV Classic with only one club.

For out talking Sam Donaldson.

For riding your Harley Davidson into Southwest headquarters.

For being a friend, not just a boss.

Happy Boss's Day from each one of your 16,000 employees."

(Taken from 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, John Maxwell)

This kind of letter can only be written by those who are fortunate enough to work for a boss who knows the secret of connecting.

Yes, we must never forget "to touch a person's heart before we ask them for a hand."


Tom Crenshaw serves as Connections Pastor of the New Monmouth Baptist Church (non denominational) where he previously served as a three year interim.He has been married to Jean for almost 50 years, and they have four children, all of whom are teachers.Tom loves perennial gardening, umpiring high school baseball, coaching baseball and football, fishing for small mouth bass, rooting for his favorite team, the Cleveland Indians, and listening to ‘real’ country music, the classic kind. Learn More »

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