Why I don’t believe in traditional mentoring
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ChatGPTThe leadership world is often overtaken by fads. The "next best thing" is always being promoted somewhere. One popular trend in recent years is mentorship. The arrangement typically involves older, seasoned leaders taking younger or less-experienced people under their wing. Mentors develop a curriculum, assign reading and exercises, and take the lead in the relationship. During one-on-one meetings, mentors share the wisdom they've gained through years of experience and their protégé benefits from it.
While this type of relationship is common, I believe it has several inherent weaknesses.
#1 It has the wrong focus.
Too often in mentoring relationships, the focus is on the mentor's achievements. Though it's certainly possible to draw principles from other people's success, everyone's journey is unique. What worked for the mentor in the past may not be the right approach for the mentee to take today.
I think a better approach is spiritual leadership coaching. In coaching, the focus is on the person being coached. The coach directs the conversation by asking thoughtful, open-ended questions and then spends the bulk of the time actively listening.
#2 It puts all your eggs in one basket.
Imagine being a businessperson and having Jeff Bezos or Warren Buffett agree to mentor you. You'd likely do whatever he said. But unquestioningly following these successful men would be dangerous. For even though they are brilliant in many ways, they aren't wise in every area.
The problem with traditional one-on-one mentoring is that no one other than Jesus has everything a person needs! Even the most renowned mentors have blind spots.
As an alternative, I recommend "customized mentoring." Rather than depending on one mentor, someone might enlist one person to offer financial guidance and another to provide marriage advice. The key is to find people with a great deal of wisdom in a particular area and then to lean into them for that one thing. In some cases, a simple lunch meeting might be enough. In other circumstances, a series of sessions may be necessary.
#3 It's time-consuming.
A typical mentoring relationship requires a substantial time commitment. But time is limited and frequent meetings may not be feasible, especially for busy mentors.
Leadership coaching tends to focus on a particular problem. Once it is resolved, the meetings cease. Therefore, the scheduling demands are often much more manageable.
#4 It's unbiblical.
When people promote mentorship, they often point to Paul and Timothy as the biblical model. The older, wiser apostle took young Timothy under his wing. But there is scant evidence that Paul met with Timothy one-on-one on a regular basis. Paul seemingly had a cohort of young men with him most of the time, and he taught them in community. Paul wrote to Timothy, "What you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses,commit to faithful men . . ." (2 Tim. 2:2). Learning in community as opposed to individually is a far more biblical approach and makes for a more robust, dynamic educational environment.
#5 It's passive.
Far too many people sit back and expect their mentor to do all the heavy lifting. But effective learning takes place only when the student is actively engaged in the process.
Years ago, a young man asked me to mentor him. I told him I was busy and traveled a great deal, but I could meet with him periodically. Soon afterward, I drafted an email in which I laid out various dates and times that worked best for me. Just before I sent the message, I decided to delete the potential dates and simply wrote that I'd be happy to meet with him if he arranged a time. He never responded. He asked me to mentor him, but he didn't even take the initiative to schedule our first meeting!
My intent isn't to disparage mentorship. I know of some wonderful mentoring relationships that have born much fruit. But there are some inherent weaknesses to this approach. I believe other models, such as leadership coaching, are better designed to produce life-long learners. God wants everyone to grow, but it is incumbent on us to be active participants in the process.
 | Richard Blackaby is the president of Blackaby Ministries International and lives in Georgia. He travels internationally speaking on spiritual leadership in the home, church, and marketplace as well as on spiritual awakening, experiencing God, and the Christian life. Richard regularly ministers to Christian CEOs and business leaders. He has written or co-authored 33 books . This article was first published on RichardBlackaby.com. Used with permission from Blackaby Ministries International. Learn More » |
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