When you’re in the ring with a bull

Brian Catanella Sept. 10, 2020

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"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed" (2 Cor. 4:8-9).

The high-level business meeting reminded me of facing a fierce foe on the playing field. My co-presenter and I nervously eyed the clock as we waited in the lobby. Forty agonizing minutes of our allotted hour crawled by. Then, as if facing a surprise blitz, our hosts rushed us into the meeting.

We walked into the room of twenty spectators. Not only had we lost two-thirds of our allotted time, we had to project figures on a blurry screen, in a cavernous setting with poor acoustics. Finally, we fielded a barrage of questions as we fretted over the final minutes quickly ticking away.

Looking for lessons

Afterward, my cohort and I looked at each other with a quizzical "What just happened?" Our only consolation was that we had survived this Spartan-like trial.

Later, on the plane home, I struggled to find the positive lessons. My musings brought to mind an old football drill called "Bull in the Ring." A group of players assembled in a large circle. One by one, a coach called out the name of a gladiator to enter the ring. The coach would instruct one player after another to engage him in battle, going as long as the coach desired. One way or another, each gladiator finished—whether battered and despondent, or standing tall and victorious.

Most often, it was the former.

Like that barbaric football drill, our challenging meeting was not the place to learn skills of technique or finesse. Still, as I thought it over, I gleaned some deeper lessons that I knew would benefit me in the future:

• I just survived that
• I didn't give up
• I didn't let what I couldn't control dictate my response
• I chose to courageously face the challenge rather than walk away

In the line of fire

In life, rapid-fire moments can happen when we least expect them. A vexing family issue pops up out of nowhere. A work situation turns so contentious it keeps you up at night. An intense deadline generates a dozen "what if?" scenarios.

In his book Above the Line: Lessons in Leadership and Life from a Championship Season, released the season after Ohio State won the 2014 national championship, now-retired coach Urban Meyer described how he approached his team in such difficult moments. He boiled it down to the equation:

E + R = O
or
Event + Response = Outcome

On the field and in daily life, Meyer reminded players that unexpected events will happen. The only thing they could truly control was their response.

That business meeting, along with the harsh football drill, were events I couldn't control. But I could choose how to respond.

I could focus on the circumstances, complain, and blame others for what happened. But I had to consider the consequences of this choice. What kind of outcome would it lead to? How would I grow from it? How would it affect others?

My other choice was to accept responsibility for what I could control, and acknowledge that only through strenuous training would I be more prepared for next time. While the outcome might not be perfect, it would certainly be better.

Training yourself

Over time, you can train yourself to respond to life's unexpected moments. Practice taking a deep breath as you pause to understand. Acknowledge your initial response. If inclined to lash out in anger or bitterness, remember that God teaches His followers to be "slow to anger" (Psalm 103:8) and to "love your enemies" (Matthew 5:44). Prayer, and speaking with a friend you trust, may also help you overcome an initially adverse reaction.

Think about Meyer's equation the next time you face an extreme circumstance. Use it when you are dealing with someone difficult.

Focus on your response and shaping it out of a growth mindset. Anchor yourself in a place of love, not anger.

The next time you're called into the ring, you'll be better prepared for that bull staring you down.

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Brian Catanella is passionate about sharing Christian leadership principles through his writing, coaching, volunteering and professional life. While professionally a consultant through UBS Institutional Consulting Group with a finance background, he is fueled daily by sharing God's love and wisdom to help contribute to the future development of coaches, teachers, parents and leaders. He is active in serving his local church in Moorestown, New Jersey where he attends with his wife and two sons. Learn More »

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