When disagreements don’t really matter
Christians bicker and fight over some of the most insignificant issues. In his letter to the Romans, Paul advised Christians on how they should respond to issues that do not represent essential doctrines or matters of salvation: “Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters” (Romans 14:1).
Here are three different kinds of conflicts mentioned in Scripture:
1. Disputable matters that are so complex they will never be resolved.
2. Doctrinal errors that need to be lovingly corrected, per Acts 18:26.
3. False teachings that will spread like gangrene if not removed (2 Timothy 2:17).
Many conflicts occur because church leaders don’t distinguish between trivial, “disputable” matters and essential doctrines. Paul cites two examples of disputable matters that aren’t worth fighting about: eating meat and celebrating special days.
- Eating: “The man who eats everything must not look down on him who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must not condemn the man who does, for God has accepted him” (Romans 14:3).
- Celebrations: “One man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind” (verse 5). In other words, if you are a vegetarian or if you prefer not to worship on Saturday night, fine. Just don’t condemn others who have a different opinion.
No matter what the issue, be careful not to become a stumbling block to your brother. If you are aware that someone is offended by your freedom, then don’t flaunt it. Don’t deliberately agitate others. If you know someone will take offense if you wear an earring on the church platform, don’t wear it on the platform. After all, it is such a small thing! Be bigger than they are. As Paul says, “It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall” (v. 21)
The best response
Sometimes, Paul says the best response regarding disputable matters is to keep your mouth shut: “Whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God” (v. 22).
In other words, why “stir the pot” or disturb people by bringing up a matter of little consequence when you know it will prompt divisiveness? Even though you might delight in seeing a narrow-minded person squirm, maturity knows that harmony always trumps an argument. So keep quiet. In verses 19-20, Paul advises Christ’s followers to make every effort to work towards peace and mutual edification and not destroy God’s work over something as minor as food.
Of course, in all this appears this word of caution from Paul: “Don’t allow what you consider good to be spoken of as evil” (v. 16). This mean you can’t sit idly by and remain silent if someone makes a disputable matter a test of fellowship. Such legalism will stifle a church and emphasize law over grace. The desire for peace should not be allowed to override the importance of freedom.
This is where mature believers are vital for achieving church harmony. Having lived through past church and family fights, many know the devastation they often cause. These experienced, godly people are sometimes seen as compromising or lacking zeal. In reality they have learned that harmony is fragile. They recognize peace is more valuable than proving someone else wrong—especially when the disagreement doesn’t really matter.
Leaders, remember the value of such influence in your congregations.
Photo source: istock
 | Bob Russell became the pastor of Southeast Christian Church at just 22 years old. That small congregation of 120 members became one of the largest churches in America, with 18,000 people attending the four worship services every weekend in 2006 when Bob retired. Now through Bob Russell Ministries, Bob continues to preach at churches; conferences throughout the United States, provide guidance for church leadership, mentor other ministers and author Bible study videos for use in small groups. Learn More » |
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