What you really long for is empathy

Chris Bolinger Feb. 24, 2023

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For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. — Hebrews 4:15-16 (NIV)

My wife gave me COVID for Christmas.

She had battled the flu for a few weeks starting at Thanksgiving, but I hadn't picked that up from her. So, when she got sick again a few days before Christmas, I figured I was safe.

Nope. She showed me a positive COVID test on Christmas morning, and later that day I started to feel lousy.

We had gone three years without getting COVID, but now we had it. Together.

I needed to get back to full strength quickly. I was supposed to play in a tennis tournament starting January 4, and on January 8 I was supposed to sing in a choral concert for which I and the rest of the group had been preparing since early October.

What was the best way to get better?

My wife, who had a head start on me, opted for traditional cold medications and lots of rest. Four days after Christmas, she hadn't made much progress, so I decided to try a different approach and get active outside in the Florida sun. I went for walks. I practiced my serve. I mowed the lawn. Rather than helping, the activity seemed to sap what little energy I had.

And the clock was ticking.

Out of ideas, I started firing questions at friends and family members who had recovered from COVID. How long did it take for your energy to come back? What did you try? How did that work?

I got lots of good information. With it came empathy. Everyone who had endured COVID understood my plight and wanted me to get better quickly.

I appreciate sympathy, but I put a higher value on empathy. Empathy feels deeper. More heartfelt. It comes from a shared experience.

As Hebrews 4 explains, Jesus has empathy for us. He understands first-hand what the human experience is like, including the physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual challenges that we all face at one time or another. Whenever we are struggling, we can go to him with full confidence that he will give us what we need. Mercy. Grace. Hope. Comfort.

Then we can turn to others and do the same, as Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 1:3-4: "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God."

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Chris Bolinger is the author of three men’s devotionals – 52 Weeks of Strength for Men, Daily Strength for Men, and Fuerzas para Cada Día para el Hombre – and the co-host of the Throwing Mountains podcast. He splits his time between northeast Ohio and southwest Florida. Against the advice of medical professionals, he remains a die-hard fan of Cleveland pro sports teams. Find him at mensdevotionals.com. Learn More »

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