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If you have come to the conclusion that your boss is selfish, mean-spirited, lacking in basic social graces, and only interested in his own success, you are definitely not alone. Throngs of others find themselves in similar circumstances.
Working for a narcissist is a difficult trial. The fact is that organizations are attracted to narcissists for leadership positions; however, narcissistic leaders are less effective leaders as compared with their humble counterparts. Because leading requires a dose of believing in one’s abilities to direct a group toward a goal, a leader must have a healthy self-esteem.
When gifted leaders fall into the trap of thinking too highly of themselves, they tend to operate for their good alone, rather than considering others in the leadership process. Such leaders begin the slippery descent into narcissism.
How is the Christian to maintain respect and honor for the boss when he functions as a narcissist? How does one cope with toxic working conditions created by a boss who doesn’t care to change his ways?
Much has been written about the narcissistic leader. By definition, narcissistic leaders possess “a personality trait encompassing grandiosity, arrogance, self-absorption, entitlement, fragile self-esteem, and hostility.”
In describing such a leader, observers point out a lack of humility, the desire to get what he wants no matter the impact on others while using such derogatory terms such as “vain,” “entitled,” or “a user.”
Narcissism is actually a personality disorder recognized by the American Psychological Association. Specific characteristics of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) include a sense of grandiosity about one’s self, a continuous desire for admiration from others, and a lack of empathy for others.
Typically, NPD exists alongside other psychiatric disorders. While externally displaying demeaning behaviors such as condescending and controlling attitudes, narcissistic leaders struggle with insecurities internally. It could be said that the behaviors associated with narcissism are nothing more than a defense mechanism to keep others out so the leader’s ego and pride are kept intact. Some suggest that narcissism could be the adult response to the inability to please a parent during childhood.
An individual struggling with NPD is incapable of receiving correction, disapproval or rejection of any kind. This inability stunts normal psychological growth, making him susceptible to missing social cues. A diagnosis of NPD takes place after a psychologist is convinced that at least five of the characteristics provided by the American Psychiatric Association exist in a patient:
While some leaders may qualify for a NPD diagnosis, most would not meet the high standards placed by the APA. This does not mean that there is not a problem. Preoccupied with his own abilities and successes, the boss’s ego gets in the way of group success. The only success that matters is his own. That which is accomplished by employees is taken as the success of the narcissistic leader. He wishes to control everything—even the way subordinates think.
It’s true that the narcissistic CEO demands that his subordinates think the same way he does about the business. Such control brings the narcissistic leader a sense of ease while subordinates deal with instability and demotivation in the work environment.
To be attractive and effective, a leader must exhibit self-confidence. Who will follow a leader who does not believe in himself? It is when that self-confidence crosses over into hubris or excessive pride that the leader is on his way toward narcissism.
Effective leaders know who they are and function within the limitations they possess. Leading in such a way is leading with humility. Commonly seen as weakness, humility is actually weakness’ antithesis.
Humble leadership embraces personal strengths and weaknesses and leads accordingly looking to others to fill gaps that exist in the leader. Having a good sense of self-awareness is the key to practicing humility in leadership. The narcissistic leader sees no need for such practices. He has become convinced that his ideas and practices are ideal and better than everyone else’s. These ideas may be reinforced by a board of directors who rely on such a leader’s confidence and competitiveness to improve the performance of the company.
While the road toward narcissism is as individual as the leaders who take it, there are a few clear commonalities. First, there is a lack of input in the narcissist’s life. Whether that is because the leader never thought he needed the input or because a seasoned leader tried and failed to get past the leader’s hubris, the fact remains that narcissistic leaders are isolated. This leaves them susceptible to believing whatever they wish about themselves. To avoid growing deeper in narcissism, the APA suggests finding a mentor as a way to cope with NPD, something that leadership practitioners also agree is a good tool to fight narcissistic leadership.
Secondly, it is noteworthy that psychoanalysts have documented the fact that narcissists suffer from a lack of self-worth. Underneath the rough exterior of the narcissist lies a thin-skinned person sensitive to criticism. Because of this the narcissist turns to hubris, omniscience, and omnipotence as a way to counteract the deep sense of inadequacy he possesses. The narcissistic leader works hard to maintain control by being ever present and ever powerful in the organization.
In the process, he convinces himself he has no need for relationship with anyone as such feelings of dependence illicit thoughts of indebtedness which the narcissist drowns in the deep sea of self-sufficiency. It is here that the narcissist becomes a caricature as he wades deeper into a false sense of identity.
Working for the narcissist is not an easy task. His self-centered approach to leadership can be extremely draining for the follower. Understanding the reasons he acts the way he does is the beginning to coping with his behavior.
Photo source: istock
 | Andy Zawacki, a former pastor and teacher has a passion for developing leaders who will change the world. He serves as the Head of School at Arborbrook Christian Academy. He is married to Michelle and is dad to triplets, Josh, Anna and Christie. Learn More » |
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