Understanding how depression impacts church leaders
If enough of us speak up about mental illness and depression, then more may begin to understand and take action. In particular, I want to give a voice to those in ministry who deal with depression, because they often feel they have to suffer in silence.
The National Institute of Mental Health estimates that in the U.S. alone, 6.7 percent of American adults have had one major depressive episode in a given year and 10.9 percent of those between the ages 18 and 25.
I worked for 11 years in a Christian university preparing individuals for ministry, including some already in ministry. As chair of the undergraduate psychology program, I also counsel students—and that same statistic would describe these students.
Let me make an important distinction. I am not referring to occasionally being sad or down. Major depression or major depressive disorder is a diagnosable condition involving overwhelming sadness, low energy, lack of motivation, loss of appetite, sleep difficulties and loss of interest in things previously thought pleasurable.
These are not symptoms lasting for a few days and easily resolved by spending a few hours with your friends. These are persistent and may last for weeks, months and in some cases, for life—especially without treatment
Most people who experience depression feel like they should just be able to get over it. They feel like a failure or inadequate, weak and vulnerable. If they are still able to function, they can hide it unless someone knows them well and can tell there is something wrong. Even then, they may not want to talk about it in fear that their friends or family will tire of hearing about it, Their afraid to be a burden, a joy-killer, needy or someone they would choose not to be with anymore.
They also don’t want to hear advice or suggestions that they should count their blessings, look on the bright side, pray more, spend more time with God or some of the other platitudes we use when someone is having a bad day.
There have been harsh words toward pastors with depression who have taken their own lives. Trust me, it isn’t just an easy way out. Patients I work with live with daily suicidal thoughts. It is difficult to get those thoughts out of their minds. This doesn’t mean they will kill themselves, it just means they know it’s an option. They don’t want to, but they also desire the depression to end.
I am not doing them a service by trying to explain how painful depression is for them. I liken it to chronic pain, which no one can imagine unless you’ve been there. I commend my patients who are still around, the ones who still manage to stay alive, the ones who still function, even if that means they only get up to get their kids off to school and spend the rest of the day in bed.
While God may choose to heal some, others are left to depend on Him to endure. It is difficult to trust God at a time like this, but many do and try to continue to serve Him.
Those who took their lives didn’t give up on God. It means the depression finally won. Similar to a cancer, it took their lives. It took over their minds, emotions and wills. It may appear that they had a choice. However, did they really? If you haven’t been there, please refrain from judgment.
The time to be there for them is before they reach that point. Pastors need to know they can share with someone and they need to be encouraged to get the help they need. They need to know they have permission to put themselves first and will be supported, loved and valued. It needs to be safe for them to do so, but our judgement of them will keep them from getting the help they need.
Photo source: istock
 | Phillip A. Foster, Ph.D., as a psychologist and Director of AuthenticQuest.org, provides spiritual direction, counseling, training and consulting, to those in ministry or other roles of leadership in the church. He is the author of Here's My Heart, Lord; Parent With an Attitude, and Not Good Enough. Learn More » |
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