The wise pastor's response to criticism

Bud Brown Sept. 12, 2019

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“Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.” ~Winston Churchill 

Constructive and destructive criticism

Pastors face both constructive and destructive criticism. Your ability to revitalize the stagnant church hinges on your ability to weather the destructive and profit from the constructive. The primary difference between the two kinds of criticism is a matter of the speaker’s intent, so emotional intelligence is a key factor. Emotional intelligence—knowing yourself and understanding the other—is vital when it comes to handling criticism properly.

The destructive critic says, “Your sermons harp on personal evangelism too much because you want to grow a big church and be a big name preacher.” The constructive critic says, “Your emphasis on personal evangelism occasionally shades from exhortation to accusation which may unintentionally use guilt to manipulate people.”

The professional response to criticism

Criticism may sting even when offered with the best of intentions by those you trust (Proverbs 27:6). It cuts deeply when the “feedback” masks a personal attack. But no matter your initial reaction, keep cool and remain objective. I find it helpful to filter criticism through several questions:

• Do I trust this person to have my interests at heart?
• Is the criticism about how I can do things better or is it an attack on me as a person?
• Why does this criticism sting?
• Is this criticism merited, or is there a grain of truth in it?
• What can I learn from this criticism?

Predisposed to openness

The Birkman Method™ assesses two personality components that make it somewhat easier to stay open to and learn from criticism.

Assertiveness analyzes our tendency to express our opinions openly and vigorously. It also considers our comfort with disagreement and the extent to which we expect others to also be vocal. If you enjoy the give-and-take of an exchange of opinions, if you invite others to express their ideas and if you are comfortable giving clear directions to others, you have a high assertiveness score.

Self-consciousness examines how much energy we devote to processing how others perceive us. If you are usually aware of what others are feeling, if you try to always be supportive or if you tend to be deferential, you have a high self-consciousness score.

Knowing yourself makes it easier to learn from your critic. A measured response takes some of the sting out of pointed words, makes it easier to gain helpful information and learn to be a more effective leader.

People who with high assertiveness and low self-consciousness will respond to criticism by being ticked off. On the other hand, people with high self-consciousness and low assertiveness will respond with relationship fear (that silently asks), “Will we be able to work together after this?”

Criticism is a fact of life. Get used to it. And make the determination that you’ll take what’s valuable, learn from it and ignore the rest. It begins with knowing yourself.

Photo source: istock 

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Bud Brown is an experienced ministry leader, writer and educator. He is co-founder of Turnaround Pastors and co-author of the ground-breaking Pastor Unique: Becoming A Turnaround Leader. He brings special expertise to change leadership in the local church, mentoring pastors to become revitalization leaders, training churches how to find and recruit the best talent, and training leadership teams how to achieve their shared goals. Learn More »

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