The question you need to be asking

David Bowman July 26, 2019

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Leaders who invest themselves in younger leaders quickly learn the value of coaching. Good questions get learners thinking in new ways which produce better results. 

One university professor insisted his students read the textbook and workbook with the objective of each student bringing at least one question about the material to the next class meeting. Discussion of student questions replaced the professor’s lecture. Class attendance improved. Engagement multiplied. Learning accelerated.

Ken Blanchard’s Situational Leadership II (SLII) process is full of wonderful tools. The SLII pathway moves from directing to coaching to supporting to delegating. Mastering coaching skills makes the journey beyond “directing” possible. 

This sounds like what Jesus did with his disciples. He said, “Come and see,” (directing). “Come and follow me,” (coaching). “Come and be with me,” (supporting). And, “Remain in me,” (delegating). Blanchard’s Lead Like Jesus makes these connections explicit. 

Jesus asked a lot of questions along the discipleship journey. Consider these:

• What do you want me to do for you? (Matthew 20:32)
• Do you want to be well? (John 5:6)
• Why are you so afraid? (Matthew 8:26)
• Why did you doubt? (Matthew 14:31)
• Do you believe I can do this? (Matthew 9:28)
• Who do you say I am? (Matthew 16:15)
• Why were you searching for me? (Luke 2:49)
• Where is your faith? (Luke 8:25)
• What is your name? (Luke 8:30)
• Do you understand what I have done for you? (John 13:12)

The questions Jesus asked helped clarify the issue at hand as well as what needed to be done next. A good question is better than a book of instruction.

Recently, an interesting question was asked in my small group. Try it on for size with those you are developing: “Do you want to improve your weekend game, or do you want to win tournaments?”

This is the kind of coaching question which challenges assumptions and provides clarity of focus. Affirming the first part of the question results in incremental improvement. Affirming the second part results in transformation. 

Consider how this question might work coming from the mouth of your golf coach. If you answer, “I want to improve my weekend game,” he will teach you how to get out of your own way. He may offer tips about your grip, your stance, your aim, or your club speed. You will make several improvements which will lower your score.

However, if you answer, “I want to win tournaments,” then the coach will take an entirely different approach. One of the first things he will do is help you unlearn bad habits and replace them with better habits. This will take longer and produce better results overall. 

Apply this question to those you are developing. Do they want to get better for next Sunday? Or, do they want to maximize their leadership capacity? Understanding their next best step helps you assist them in creating personal growth plans they will actually stick to and achieve. 

Getting clear on the end result makes the pathway more apparent. 

Some years ago, I read Alan Nelson’s Coached by Jesus: 31 Lifechanging Questions Asked by the Master. This book helped me focus more deeply than before on how Jesus related to his disciples and to those he encountered along the way. It helped me change my approach to leadership. 

Pontificating less and listening more has provided much-needed perspective. Seeking to understand has improved the questions I ask and the results others experience. 

How about you? Do you want to improve your weekend game, or do you want to win tournaments? What is your next best step?

Photo source: istock 

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David Bowman, (DMin, PCC) is the Executive Director of Tarrant Baptist Association in Fort Worth, Texas. He also serves as a Multiplying Trainer for Future Church Co. Learn More »

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