The mindset shift you didn't know you needed
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It was probably close to 100 degrees in San Diego that day. I was about halfway through my final phase of training to become a Marine. I was hungry, I was tired, I was sore. Almost as if he could sense it, one of my drill Instructors called me over, led me to a pit full of mud, and ordered me to push. I must have done 30 or 40 push-ups before I got to the point of feeling absolutely broken; I had zero energy left and I wished I was anywhere in the world but there in that moment.
So, I stopped. I told my drill Instructor that I couldn't do another push-up. I thought I was going to die. In one of the most memorable interactions of my life he fired back that I could, but I was choosing not to. Well, he was right. It hurt but I got about ten more push-ups before he finally let me get back to our normal training event.
Looking back on this moment I realize that I learned something about myself. I had been assuming my own limitations. I had been limiting myself and telling myself that the possible was really unachievable. I was creating my own barriers.
"I can't" is often an excuse that we use to really say, "I don't want to." When we say I can't we are often really saying I don't feel like it; I don't believe in myself.
I have carried this lesson with me everywhere I have gone. As a recruiter I often saw future Marines feeling worn out during workouts and trainings, giving up on themselves and saying what I call the ugly words, "I can't." But when I leaned in and drove them to dig a bit deeper, to try one more time, and to choose to push through, they always learned that they had more in them.
Don't get me wrong, there are things in life that we really cannot do. I will never be able to jump 100 feet in the air. I will never be able to fly, unassisted, like birds do. These are physically impossible for humans to do. There are appropriate situations where the phrase "I can't" is applicable. However, we should never let this statement creep in when we just don't want to do something or don't feel equipped.
Maybe you have found yourself frustrated by others saying this. Maybe you are reading this and recounting a time you used this phrase. This is the mindset shift that you didn't even know you needed!The simple shift from "I can't" to "Yes I can," can and will change your life, forever. I didn't think I had the strength to take another breath, let alone do ten more push-ups. What this man taught me is that I had more inside of me then I would let myself believe.
How do you make this shift?
First, you identify it.Now that you are aware, you have to be active in catching these moments. It may be your own moments, it may be someone else's. Take the step today to listen for it, and when you hear it, do something about it.
Take action.Correct the language as soon as you hear it. If you don't stop yourself, or correct someone else, then this phrase will continue to poison your mindset. You can grow, you can achieve, you can overcome. If you hear it, fix it.
Share it.Share this thought with your team, bring others alongside you as you work to correct your mindset. Someone with a can-do attitude will always be more effective than someone that never embraces discomfort, never challenges themselves, and subjects themselves to their own imposed limitations.
You can do it. Your team can do it. What you cannot do is allow your team to undercut themselves. Replace your "I can't" language with "I can" motivation.
 | Sean Lord is a pastor, husband, and father. He enjoys writing about leadership, theology, and ministry. He served in the U.S. Marine Corps and currently pastors at one of the largest churches in the U.S. He spends much of his time mentoring and coaching pastors as well as leaders outside of the church. Learn More » |
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