Conflict, chaos and crisis are similar tools the enemy uses to disrupt the good work of the church These are similar in the sense that they evoke identical reactions and have potentially the same impact on those who are affected by them.
Each of these has to do with change. Change creates what we term an adjustive demand. When change happens, we must adapt or respond and hopefully not in a maladaptive way. What each of these events has in common is they are influenced by our perceptions of them. A change of perspective may be required.
There are two equally and erroneously inaccurate assumptions we can make about these events. One is that they are avoidable. The second is that they are always destructive.
Neither of these is necessarily true. It is almost inevitable that you will experience conflict, crisis, or chaos in your church or ministry at some point and the outcomes of these events can, in fact, be quite constructive.
Solomon wrote, “In the day of prosperity be joyful, and in the day of adversity consider: God has made the one as well as the other” (Ecclesiastes 7:14).
It isn’t up to us to place value on one of these events as to whether it was a good thing or not. For we know that “in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).
Margaret Silf in her book, The Other Side of Chaos, suggests we must be willing to tolerate, and even welcome, these interruptions to our smooth running lives.
As Silf points out, God’s purpose is not merely to restore, rehabilitate, or return to a former state, but to re-create, to take the broken pieces and put them back together into something of even greater value.
In order to change our perspective, we may need to discern what we are willing to let die or what the Lord is asking us to let go. Each of these events results in some type of loss. After a loss, there is a grieving process we go through. We may encounter some form of denial (e.g., I can’t believe this happened). There will be those who are angry and resist moving forward from their former place of security ( e.g., But, we’ve always done it this way).
These are normal responses and they need to be acknowledged and understood, but we want to encourage everyone to move forward, to help them appreciate the old ways of doing things may not be what is best anymore. Remember what Jesus said when he was confronted for His unorthodox ways, “New wine is not put into old wineskins. If it is the skins burst and the wine is spilled and the skins are destroyed. New wine is put into fresh wineskins, and so both are preserved” (Matthew 9:17).
Ignatius of Loyola advises we remain in a state of indifference, not that we are apathetic or disinterested, but that we are indifferent to anything but the will of God. Essentially, “God’s will, nothing more, nothing less, nothing else.”
It is only as we are open to any outcome or answer from God that we can be certain we are moving forward in the right direction. Like Mary who, after finding her world was about to be turned upside down was able to say, “Let it be with me according to your word” (Luke 1:38).
I have found the following prayer to be helpful when events like these occur in my life or my ministry. I recommend praying them and teaching them to those who are also being affected.
Charles de Foucauld’s Prayer of Abandonment
Whatever you may do, I thank you: I am ready for all, I accept all.
Let only your will be done in me, and in all your creatures— I wish no more than this, O Lord.
Into your hands I commend my soul; I offer it to you with all the love of my heart, for I love you, Lord, and so need to give myself, to surrender myself into your hands without reserve, and with boundless confidence, for you are my Father.
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![]() | Phillip A. Foster, Ph.D., as a psychologist and Director of AuthenticQuest.org, provides spiritual direction, counseling, training and consulting, to those in ministry or other roles of leadership in the church. He is the author of Here's My Heart, Lord; Parent With an Attitude, and Not Good Enough. Learn More » |
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