Strong in spirit: the kind of leadership the church truly needs

Mike Bonem Sept. 16, 2025

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"We want a strong leader." I've heard this statement countless times from churches as they describe the characteristics they want in their next pastor. (The same is true for other ministries.) I believe this statement is well-intentioned and often misleading.

Many pastors and ministry leaders, as they step into the role, hear this statement as a call for bold direction and action. They make significant changes or launch new initiatives or reorganize staff responsibilities, because they believe these are the right steps. But they often run into problems. Why? Weren't they fulfilling their mandate?

When churches ask for a "strong leader," the underlying request often means:

• We want someone to right the ship without rocking the boat. This call for leadership is really a call for a savior to reverse a decline or address a crisis. It assumes the pastor can produce a silver bullet solution that doesn't require painful changes.
• We're jealous of the "successful" church down the street. Every community has at least one church that seems to be thriving. That church has a great reputation and is growing rapidly, and is often led by a high-profile, charismatic pastor. They are attracting unchurched people and people from your church. Like the ancient Israelites, your church may be saying, "We want a king like our neighboring countries."
• We want someone who will support our priorities. This version is most common in a divided church where different groups have competing ideas on how to move forward. Each faction is looking for a leader who is a combination of a puppet that they can manipulate and a military commander who charges into battle on their behalf.

So how should you respond if your church says they want a "strong leader"?

Forging ahead with reckless abandon is clearly not the answer. Nor should you abdicate leadership or assume those making the request are not trustworthy. A better approach is to:

• Ask what "strong leader" means to them. A thoughtful conversation may unearth one of the three meanings described above or a different one altogether. It may also give you insights into the constraints you are likely to face.
• Build a strong leadership team. Even if the church genuinely desires someone to provide bold direction, you'll make better decisions and accomplish more if you share the leadership mantle with a team.
• Listen for the congregation's hurts and hopes. The three unspoken requests listed above have a common denominator: pain. Digging deeper than the initial request for strong leadership will uncover the real issues that can inform your leadership approach.
• Deepen your spiritual disciplines. Another common thread in the three requests is the emphasis on a single person solving all the church's problems. This poses a threat to a leader's soul. Positive outcomes can inflate your ego, and negative ones can cause despair. In either case, a vibrant spiritual life is the best protection against these risks.

A church may want a "strong leader," but they need one whose wise discernment gets beneath these words to help them discover a path toward God's preferred future.

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Mike Bonem is an author, consultant, speaker, church leader, businessperson, husband and father. He has an MBA from Harvard Business School and a breadth of experience in ministry and business, including 11 years as an executive pastor, consulting with Fortune 100 companies, and leading a start-up business. This article was first published on MikeBonem.com. Used with permission. Learn More »

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