Solitude vs. isolation
Adobe
More than ever before, I enjoy being alone…but there's a world of difference between solitude and isolation.
It's easy to miss the difference because, on the surface, they look the same. You're by yourself.
But that's where the similarities end.
Solitude recharges your soul, allows space for reflection, and connects you to God, yourself, and others. It's a gift from God.
Isolation drains you, cuts you off, and leaves you feeling even more disconnected. It's a tool of the enemy.
So, how do you know the difference? And how can you ensure you aren't isolated in your leadership?
The gift of solitude
Solitude is one of the most underrated gifts in life and leadership.
It's restorative. It's where you find clarity, renewal, and strength.
It offers time for reflection and prayer. So even when you're alone, if you're experiencing solitude, you are still connected—to God, to yourself, and to prepare you to be connected to others.
Solitude isn't lonely; it's about being present—with God and with yourself.
The downfall of isolation in leadership
Isolation is tricky because it can look and even feel like solitude initially, but it's the exact opposite. While solitude is life-giving, isolation is life-draining.
When you isolate yourself, you lose touch with reality, cut yourself off from the people who give you life, and start spiraling into thoughts that aren't helpful—or true.
And the pandemic only made this worse; Loneliness has become an epidemic in leadership.
Isolation and loneliness aren't just an emotional issue—they're a health issue. Research shows loneliness can be as deadly as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. That's how serious this is.
When you're in isolation, you're not just cutting yourself off from others—you're cutting yourself off from who God created you to be. That's never where you want to be.
Navigating solitude vs. isolation
So, how do you tell the difference between solitude and isolation?
Ask yourself: Am I stepping away to grow, or am I withdrawing to avoid?
Solitude is intentional. Isolation often happens when we let exhaustion or fear take over. If you're feeling isolated, don't let it stay that way.
For me, the turning point comes when I lean into community. When I feel the pull toward isolation, I try to connect with people who know me well, who love God, and who will tell me the truth—even when it's hard to hear.
Talk to God about it
God has a way of reminding us it's not nearly as bad as we think. So, if you're experiencing loneliness, keeping it as a part of your prayer life will help you connect with God, connect with others, and move toward solitude.
Even Jesus traveled with a tribe of twelve or more and cultivated an inner circle of three. If Jesus valued relationships, why do you think you should be different?
Take intentional breaks
Let's face it—life gets busy, and leadership gets overwhelming. We all need time away.
But when you get away, seek solitude. God uses it in powerful ways.
When you prioritize time for solitude, you'll find you have more energy, focus, and clarity for what matters most.
The crucial question
Here's the question to ask yourself in your alone time: Am I in solitude or isolation?
Solitude connects you to God, yourself, and others. It gives life. Isolation cuts you off and leaves you feeling empty. One restores; the other drains.
 | Carey Nieuwhof is a former lawyer and founding pastor of Connexus Church. He’s the author of several best-selling books, including, Didn’t See It Coming: Overcoming the Seven Greatest Challenges That No One Expects But Everyone Experiences. Carey speaks to leaders around the world about leadership, change and personal growth. Learn More » |
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