Servant leadership in various seasons

David Bowman April 16, 2019

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Our Baby Girl is getting married next month. While she is 26, a law school graduate and an Assistant District Attorney, she is still my Baby Girl. She will always be my Baby Girl. She has had me wrapped around her little finger from the moment she was born and I am perfectly OK with that.

Our son and his bride are preparing to welcome our first granddaughter into the world in a few months. How long will it take for her to wrap me around her little finger? Milliseconds. Our son is a captain in the United States Marine Corps. His bride is a recruiter for a national company familiar to many. 

These are the good ol’ days!

My bride and I have enjoyed every stage of our relationship which extends ever closer to four decades. As much as we delight in our journey to this point, there is no stage to which we wish to return. We are having fun where we are. Most of our stress is good stress these days. Weddings and babies and travel together enrich our moments and hours, our days and years. 

What do I want my children to know about marriage and family? I want them to constantly grow in serving one another in love.

One of the best books ever written for marriage and family relationships is The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. Not only does Dr. Chapman talk about the importance of serving one another, he tells us how to serve one another the way the other person wants to be served. This is a vitally important insight.

My bride is not a flowers-and-chocolate-kind-of woman. She likes flowers. However, they die. Therefore, to her Certified-Public-Accountant mind, flowers are a waste of money. I may purchase chocolate for Valentine’s Day if it is nuts and chews from See’s Candies. Again, anything else is a waste of money. 

What have we learned from my bride? Perhaps her No. 1 personal commandment is, “Thou shalt not waste money.” This extends well beyond flowers and candy. It touches every aspect of our lives.

This is not to say she thinks cheap is good or always to be preferred. No, she wants the best we can afford at the best possible price. She’s a best bang for the buck kind of woman.

One way to serve her is to help her find the best dress to wear to our daughter’s wedding at the best possible price. She found one she dearly loved. However, when she looked at the price tag it was several dollars more than others by the same designer. She was terribly frustrated.

Happily, the next day, our daughter helped her find the perfect solution. They located and purchased the right dress at the right price. My wife makes the designer look good! Our Baby Girl filled my bride’s love tank with her service. 

Consider the important people in your life. What are their love languages? How could you serve them in a manner they receive as a gift of love? 

Servant leadership is about loving God so much that you love those he loves because he loves them and seeks their highest and best. Because he loves them, you join him in expressing his love in a manner they receive as loving service. 

When Jesus stood up from washing his disciples’ feet, he said, “For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done for you,” (John 13:15 CSB). 

Who will you lovingly serve today, and how will you do it?

Photo source: istock 

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David Bowman, (DMin, PCC) is the Executive Director of Tarrant Baptist Association in Fort Worth, Texas. He also serves as a Multiplying Trainer for Future Church Co. Learn More »

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