Moving from fear to gratitude

Christian Muntean Dec. 13, 2022

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Interesting day recently. It was a "meeting day" with six planned meetings. A couple of unexpected bonus meetings were thrown in. So, I had an opportunity to dip in and out of a lot of leaders' lives.

Many were stressed. One woman was on the verge of tears. Another was visibly anxious—unable to hold still or focus. One man seemed very irritable. Another seemed tired.

Everyone was successful. Everyone was having—in terms of typical business metrics—a great year.

Everyone had a lot to be grateful for. But they were worried. Overwhelmed. Tired. Disappointed. Frustrated.

It makes sense. Success, typically defined, rarely brings us to the point of everything effortlessly working. Instead, success often introduces new risks, complexities, challenges, and questions.

I had two observations about all of this:

• Nearly all the stress was due to fearful "what ifs."
• Most people seemed to struggle to keep things that were going good top-of-mind.

I get it. It's something I wrestle with as well. I can be having my best year ever but instead of just enjoying it, I can find myself worrying.

I have to actively watch for this and redirect myself.

Watch for and deflect "What ifs"

"What ifs" are the monsters under the bed (or in the closet) for most adults. Very rarely is there any substance to them. When there is, very rarely is the substance truly substantial.

Very rarely are the time, emotion, and worry given to them justified.

I recommend writing out all of your most typical "what ifs." Name them so you can recognize them. Then, when you notice them popping up, intentionally deflect them. Set them aside. One way to do that is to practice gratitude.

Practicing gratitude

We all want good. But, for many of us, experiencing good seems to require intentionality and practice. Even when we are surrounded by good.

One very easy way to do this is to regularly list what you are grateful for. On a daily practice, I recommend thinking of two or three three things. To really shift perspective or get unstuck, I recommend writing a list of 10 things.

I'm not feeling stuck, but here are 10 (OK, 11) things I'm grateful for:

1. I'm grateful to have seen two huge bull moose, with full racks, robbing pumpkins this morning.

2. I'm grateful that I saw them in time to get out of their way (I almost didn't).

3. I'm grateful that my daughter (who has Down Syndrome) was using full sentences this morning.

4. I'm grateful for another great year in my business—I was able to grow without getting busier (it's a nice feeling to practice what I preach!)

5. I'm grateful for the baristas in the coffee shop downstairs and their friendliness and professionalism.

6. I'm grateful that the dog we "rescued" this summer has been such a seamless fit into our family.

7. I'm also grateful that she's stopped throwing up in our kid's beds.

8. I'm grateful for my wife who is a great counselor and mom and who supports me.

9. I'm grateful to my coaches (all three) who've helped propel my growth this year.

10. I'm grateful for my boys and their curiosity and ability to care for others.

11. I'm grateful to God. I truly believe He makes all of this possible.

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Christian Muntean is a seasoned expert in fostering business growth and profitability. With a Master's degree in Organizational Leadership and certifications as a Master Coach, Certified Exit Planning Advisor (CEPA), and International Mergers & Acquisitions Expert (IM&A), he guides entrepreneurial leaders through growth, succession planning, and exit strategies. He is an accomplished author of three books, including Train to Lead. Christian resides in Anchorage, Alaska, with his family.  Learn More »

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