Loving criticism

Mike Bonem

Loving criticism

One of Adam Grant’s “WorkLife” podcasts has the intriguing title, “How to Love Criticism.” It begs the question, “Can we really love criticism?” 

During one segment, Grant describes being a competitive diver in high school. He had learned a new dive and was confident that he had nailed it in a competition, only to receive scores of two or less from the judges. 

Grant commented, “It’s hard to have a realistic assessment of how you’re doing when you‘re twisting and flipping in the air.” 

That statement sounds like the reality for most church and ministry leaders. The very nature of ministry today puts leaders in places where they are twisting and flipping. The things they learned in their formal training or that have worked in the past are no longer effective. New pressures and attacks come from many directions, both internal and external. 

So let me offer three observations about leaders who are twisting and flipping. 

First, accept the truth in the quote. It’s difficult to be a good judge of your effectiveness when you’re in the middle of a difficult leadership moment. So find people that you trust who will give honest, loving, helpful feedback, preferably before you do a belly flop.

Second, it would have been a mistake for Grant to quit doing this dive just because he “failed” once. The low scores from the judges were a learning opportunity. The same is true for you. When things don’t go well, don’t give up. Use your failures as opportunities to learn.

Finally, Grant’s observation about assessing one’s own dive is only partly true. Olympic level divers have a good idea when they’ve nailed the dive and when they’ve missed. But this kind of awareness only comes with hours of practice. Be willing to do the hard work of leadership so you can nail it often and know when you’ve made a mistake. 

Photo source: istock 


Mike Bonem is an author, consultant, speaker, church leader, businessperson, husband and father. He has an MBA from Harvard Business School and a breadth of experience in ministry and business, including 11 years as an executive pastor, consulting with Fortune 100 companies, and leading a start-up business. This article was first published on MikeBonem.com. Used with permission.

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