Looking for a teachable moment

Charles Stone March 5, 2020

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If you lead people in any way—in a church, a business or a team, those you lead will screw up, fail, and often disappoint you. When that happens, and that employee or team member needs correction, when is the best time to correct?

In the past, when a staff person who reported to me made a mistake, I tended to be ‘quick on the draw’ to point out the mistake or poor judgement. But is that the best approach?

Several years ago I dialogued with a psychologist with expertise in leadership. I asked him for advice about an issue when I felt that a staff person who reported to me was totally off-base in his response to a particular situation. 

My emotions ranged from shock to surprise to disappointment and finally to anger. My carnality wanted to blast this guy and let him know how wrong he was.

My psychologist friend listened as I processed. After I finished my ranting, he asked me this question.

“Why do you want to say these strong things to this person?”

As I mulled over his question, I had to admit that I probably wanted to exert my authority to make him feel‘guilty’ for being ‘wrong.’

My desire to reprimand was me focused. When I forced myself to evaluate my motive and heard my words that tumbled out, I realized that my motive was very wrong

He made two suggestions: 

1. Don’t bring up the issue until I and the other person have cooled down.

2. Then, bring up the issue in the context of a teachable moment, a moment in the other person’s life when what I say would come across as a way to boost their leadership ability, rather than be perceived simply as a reprimand.

This simple insight has helped me maximize learning in my staff when they make a mistake.

Photo source: istock 

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Charles Stone coaches and equips pastors and teams to effectively navigate the unique challenges ministry brings. By blending biblical principles with cutting-edge brain-based practices he helps them enhance their leadership abilities, elevate their preaching/ teaching skills, and prioritize self-care. A pastor for over 42 years, he has served as a lead pastor, associate pastor, and church planter. He published seven books, and over 300 of his articles have appeared on various Christian leadership websites. He holds four earned academic degrees, including a D.Min. and a Ph.D. Learn More »

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