Let’s restore civility

Bob Russell Aug. 28, 2018

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If anyone doubts the world has lost any sense of civility, they only need to examine some of my email. A sampling of the reactions I provoke when I write about sensitive church or social issues would quickly convince most readers. 

There are enough angry and snarky ones that it is a good time to remind Christ’s followers—including church leaders—that Colossians 4:6 says: “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”

On one hand, that’s to be expected. The citizens of this present world use social media to spew out vicious attacks against one another. 

Tired of nastiness

I find this kind of behavior ill-advised. I’m tired of all the nastiness. Whatever happened to civility? Basic decency? Common courtesy? Mutual respect? I find it all embarrassingly immature.

I’m reminded of an old joke that used to circulate among ministers. A preacher preparing his message for Sunday wrote in the margin of his sermon notes, “Weak point. Shout like mad!” When people resort to vulgarity, name-calling, or belittling and crass, crude language, it’s an indication they have little confidence in their position. It’s as if they’re saying, “Weak point. Be as mean as possible!”

That kind of crudeness is to be expected from the world, where hatred and revenge reign supreme. But it disappoints me when those who claim to be followers of Christ stoop to similar tactics. 

While most Christians don’t resort to profanity, many angrily opt for unfair accusations, cutting sarcasm, gross exaggerations, or condescending remarks designed to wound or humiliate those with whom they disagree.

Sad examples

Here is a sampling of some ill-natured emails I’ve received over the past two years from those who claim to be followers of Christ. 

• “This is the sorriest bunch of drivel I’ve ever read. With leaders like you, it’s no wonder our churches are in such bad shape.” 
• “You are abusing your position.”  
• “You have lost your ethics.” 
• “You sound so arrogant.” 
• “You have zero “ credibility.” 
• “I’ll never read another thing you print.” 

There are many other examples. However, as the recipient of “nasty-grams” my entire 50-year ministry, I’ve learned to live with it. In Luke 6:26, Jesus said, “Woe to you when all men speak well of you,” and I got that “woe” off my back many years ago. 

Now that I’m retired, I seldom respond to mean-spirited communications. Why reward bad behavior or prolong the pain? Still, I am perplexed as to why Christians write such mean-spirited notes. 

Distinctive from the world

Granted, this often revolves around issues that are eternally important and intensely emotional. However, we’re supposed to be distinctive from the world. There’s an old slogan that suggests we should “disagree without being disagreeable.” 

When any Christian is at odds with a fellow believer, before pounding out a vicious email or confronting the person in anger, perhaps it would be helpful to review some passages of Scripture, such as: 

* “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1).

* “Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end" (Proverbs 29:11).

* “The fruit of the Spirit is …gentleness” (Galatians 5:22-23).

* “Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently.” (Galatians 6:1).

* “Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other” (1 Thessalonians 5:15).

Finally, in the words of Matthew 11:15: “Whoever has ears, let them hear." And whoever has a computer to type, let the person use a little discretion. 

Photo source: istock 

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Bob Russell became the pastor of Southeast Christian Church at just 22 years old. That small congregation of 120 members became one of the largest churches in America, with 18,000 people attending the four worship services every weekend in 2006 when Bob retired. Now through Bob Russell Ministries, Bob continues to preach at churches; conferences throughout the United States, provide guidance for church leadership, mentor other ministers and author Bible study videos for use in small groups. Learn More »

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