Learning the art of silence
I go to a lot of meetings. It’s an occupational hazard. My daughter worked for us for a couple of weeks a few years ago when we were between assistants and she was between college and law school.
She observed that the essence of my job is eat, meet, repeat. That’s a pretty good summary. In fact, that is what my calendar indicates for today.
If you attend many meetings, you know how things go. There are those people who talk first. Some of them keep talking all the way to the end. Some of them are chipper and cheery and are always ready with a pun or a joke.
Some are direct and forceful. They are either in charge or want to be. Some appear to challenge everything everybody says. Some remain quiet most of the time. They often do not speak unless they are directly addressed.
It was in a meeting sometime back when one person who cheerily chirped away looked at the quiet guy in the room and said something like, “He is so smart. We go on and on, and he doesn’t say anything. He is not going to get in trouble for what he says!”
Silence can be golden like that.
Job’s friends apparently agreed on a couple of things. First, he wasn’t as good as he pretended to be. Second, he was hiding some secret sin from them, but not from God. Now this may be two ways of saying pretty much the same thing, but they said the same thing in different ways for many chapters.
Once upon a time, a man declared, “I am an innocent man,” and he was. Job really had not done anything wrong. His friends were not satisfied with that answer. Something had to be wrong for him to be in that big of a mess.
A person can hear only so many people accuse him or her of wrongdoing when he or she did nothing wrong. Then they want to put on their Bose QuietComfort headphones and some raucous tunes to drown out their accusers.
If only Job had possessed Bose QuietComfort headphones.
Yes, sometimes the best thing we can do is remain silent. Sometimes that is the wisest course. There is a big difference in having to say something and having something to say. It has also been observed that we do not have to attend every argument to which we are invited.
A friend was recovering from deep trauma. We chatted briefly over pizza at lunch. When she said all she cared to say, we left it at that.
Sometimes the best thing to do is sit in safe silence together. A smile, a hug and a simple, “Thanks,” ended our time together and deepened our friendship.
Our Father, in a world full of megaphones and microphones, give us headphones full of quiet comfort and silence to hear what you are saying to us. Empower us to lean into you as you lean into us (Psalm 17:6). Others accuse us, challenge us, instruct us without our consent. But what do you say? Teach us to listen to you until we clearly understand your heart and your mind. Deliver us from half-truths and folk wisdom. Guide us into your truth which soothes, comforts and strengthens. Amen.
Photo source: istock
 | David Bowman, (DMin, PCC) is the Executive Director of Tarrant Baptist Association in Fort Worth, Texas. He also serves as a Multiplying Trainer for Future Church Co. Learn More » |
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