Is there a leak in my soul?
I love to get up before sunrise. (At this point, half of you are ready to stop reading because you’re not morning people, but hang with me.)
Everything is quiet and I can count on an uninterrupted time to read my Bible and pray while enjoying a cup of coffee. Most days, I have a few minutes when I’m not thinking about “to do” lists or a problem that needs to be solved.
Even when I feel anxious about something, it’s easy for me to make that part of the conversation with my heavenly Father. I usually have a deep sense of peace in my soul and a confident assurance in my heart at the end of this time.
Then the rest of the day cranks up and life gets busy. There are phone calls and emails and meetings and hard conversations and decisions to be made. There’s more on my list than I have time to do and not enough time for family.
By the end of the afternoon, I’m exhausted. But worse than that, I often find that I’ve lost the peace and confidence that I had just a few hours earlier.
Where did it go? It’s as if I start the day filled with the Holy Spirit, only to have Him leak out, like the air that invisibly seeps out of a balloon. It seems like every disappointment or setback or stressful moment pokes a small hole in my soul that allows me to lose some of the indwelling of the Spirit.
Theologically, I know that this isn’t right. God’s Spirit is always in me. If anyone is moving, I’m the one who is slowly drifting away from my anchor. And so I’m coming to the conclusion that my morning fill-up isn’t enough.
For that matter, a quick supplemental prayer here and there doesn’t do the trick either. I suppose that shouldn’t be a surprise, but it’s a growing edge for me.
My goal is to find a good rhythm for communing with God more often during the day. I don’t expect to avoid the things that poke holes in my soul—I just want to find better ways to keep refilling.
How is it with your soul?
Photo source: istock
 | Mike Bonem is an author, consultant, speaker, church leader, businessperson, husband and father. He has an MBA from Harvard Business School and a breadth of experience in ministry and business, including 11 years as an executive pastor, consulting with Fortune 100 companies, and leading a start-up business. This article was first published on MikeBonem.com. Used with permission. Learn More » |
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