How to identify the characteristics of a prideful leader

Jonathan Hayashi April 11, 2024

my saved content

VIEW AS
A PDF

Adobe Stock

One of my professors Dr. Stuart Scott at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary wrote an excellent resource called, "The Exemplary Husband" that identifies a prideful heart versus a humble heart.

The prideful heart

- A lack of gratitude in general: They may complain because they think they deserve better.

- Anger: A proud person is often an angry person. A person most often becomes angry because his "rights" or expectations are not being met.

- Seeing yourself as better than others: He gets easily disgusted and has little tolerance for differences.

- Having an inflated view of your importance, gifts, and abilities: They are a legend in their mind, but what they need is a loving dose of reality.

- Being focused on the lack of your gifts and abilities: Having a "woe is me" attitude is self-pity, which is pride.

- Being devastated or angered by criticism: Proud people usually struggle a great deal with criticism.

- Being sarcastic, hurtful, or degrading: Proud people can be very unkind people.

- Being defensive or blame-shifting: You will often hear a proud person say, "Are you saying it's my fault?"

- A lack of admitting when you are wrong: A proud person will make a great many excuses such as, "I was having a bad day."

- A lack of asking forgiveness: Proud people rarely admit their sins or ask for forgiveness from others.

- Resisting authority or being disrespectful: A proud person may detest being told what to do.

- Maximizing others' sins and shortcomings: To the proud person, other people are the problem.

As we have seen above, there are many forms of variations of sin, and the same holds of pride. Pride is so subtle that most people think they have little or none of it within them. Andrew Murray even said, "the root of every sin and evil."

Pride is difficult to deal with, for so often prideful people can see the problem in others, yet not be able to see within themselves. Only the Holy Spirit can convict the heart that leads to repentance.

The humble heart

- Recognizing and trusting God's character: In trials, he will even thank God for the reminder of how much he needs Him and for all the good He is doing through the trial.

- Focusing on Christ: Throughout the day they talk and worship Him often.

- Biblical praying and a great deal of it: Because they see themselves as needy, they pray often.

- Being a good listener: Humble people consider what others have to say as more important than what they have to say.

- Talking about others only if it is good or for their good: A humble person will speak well of others, not negatively.

- A quickness in admitting when you are wrong: Humble people have no problem with saying, "I was wrong. You are right. Thank you for telling me."

- A quickness in granting and asking for forgiveness: Humble people are eager to forgive because they know how much they have been forgiven.

Pride is the opposite of humility and is one of the most loathed sins in God's sight. Just so you know, humility is rare because it is unnatural to man.

Therefore, humility compared to pride is difficult to see as this goes counter cultural to the fleshly desire. Humility is a supernatural divine work of God that is mustered within one's heart that emulates Christlikeness. A humble heart lives a life, "no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf." (2 Corinthians 5:15).

Often in abuse cases, the abusive leader has a critical spirit versus a critical mind. A critical spirit has a prideful heart that is divisive by nature. As Pharisees showed their own true nature "when they didn't get their way," their words and action are quick to fault-finding and keep a record of wrongs with a long list, which goes against Scripture (1 Corinthians 13:5).

Part of the problem with abusive leaders is that they are experts at manipulating the situation by controlling others and the situation (self-sovereignty). At times, they may outright lie and turn the conversation by blame-shifting. The cunning tactic of a pharisaical leader even at times comes across as "humble" by utilizing the avenue of seeking "wisdom" or "counsel" and spreading gossip like wildfire through friends, family, and the church.

What is common in conversations is the master manipulator makes one think they're "crazy" and the conversation leads to "gaslighting" by throwing fuel into the fire and tossing logic straight out the window. Just like the Pharisees during Christ's time, abusive leaders seek power, which is the desire of their heart.

The desire for control is not so much of the problem, but when the desire for control becomes the ruling desire of the heart that demands an expectation, that is when it has become a problem.

If you struggle with this, pray for God to help you put off pride and to produce humility in you.

my saved content

VIEW AS
A PDF

Dr. Jonathan Hayashi earned his B.A. from Moody Bible Institute with a double concentration in Pastoral Ministry and Biblical Studies; a M.A., in Congregational Leadership from Moody Theological Seminary, and Doctorate of Educational Ministry in Biblical Counseling from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. He presently serves on the Executive Committee at Southwest Baptist University (Bolivar, MO) and serves on the Board of Trustees at Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. He served as Senior Pastor at Northern Hills Baptist Church Holt, Missouri from 2020-2022. Learn More »

• Three ways to create a sense of urgency when you communicate (by Carey Nieuwhof)
• Walking in swing (by Christopher Beth)
• Want an “A” team? Start with your “B” players (by Christian Muntean)
• Why people don't respond when you talk to them (by Carey Nieuwhof)

Free eBook

Success Unlocked: The Transformative Power of Questions

This isn’t just another leadership book—it’s your invitation to discover how Christ-centered questions can transform the way you lead and live. Packed with real stories and timeless wisdom, it shows you how to grow your influence, deepen your faith, and lead with the same life-changing impact Jesus did.

Download Now