How normal is church conflict?
When pastors recounted tales of woe regarding problems and conflict in their congregations, pioneer church consultant Lyle E. Schaller often responded “normal, predictable behavior.” Age, gender, personality type and birth order all account for different ideas and different ways of reacting.
Conflict is not only normal, but some suggest that it is also necessary. Conflicts may help congregations define who they are and what they are called to be and to do. Lack of both stimulation and creative conflict can cause organizations and even strong national businesses to die.
In their book, Managing Conflict, Roy W. Pneuman and Margaret E. Bruehl remind us that the Latin roots behind the word conflict are com (together) and fligere (to strike).
Pastoral counselor and author G. Lloyd Rediger lists three generic types of conflict: normal, abnormal and evil. While some slices of the contemporary church may poo-poo the notion of evil playing a role, Rediger indicates that many noted psychiatrists such as Frankl, Tournier, Fromm, Menninger, Peck, etc., advocate that evil is real.
What are the percentages?
In the book Energy Zappers Shaun Blakeney and Wallace Henley maintain that in society in general: “Sixty-five percent of work-performance problems and as much as 42 percent of employee time is spent resolving conflict according to the Dana Mediation Institute.”
In the church, surveys vary. The 14,000-congregation “Faith Communities Today” (FACT) study in 2015 found that 75 percent of congregations have experienced conflict in the past, 20 percent at any one time. Sixty percent of congregations had some kind of conflict during the past five years. A 2001 Hartford Institute study discovered that 79 percent had a conflict in the past five years.
The National Congregation Study of 2007 found that 40 percent of congregations had conflict over a four-year period. In 1996, The Lutheran magazine shared that between 40 to 50 percent of ELCA congregations reported some serious conflict.
These numbers may be low because truly unhealthy congregations either will not deal with the conflict or will not ask for help.
Levels of tension and conflict
Speed Leas, a long-time church consultant with the Alban Institute, lists five levels of conflict:
Level 1 Problems
Level 2 Disagreements
Level 3 A Contest (Winners and Losers)
Level 4 Fight/Flight
Level 5 Intractable (Out to Destroy)
Causes and outcomes
William Willimon, a seasoned professor at Duke Divinity School, spent eight years on appointment as the United Methodist bishop in northern Alabama where he had oversight of 600 clergy. He acknowledged that he spent “half his time protecting congregations from toxic pastors, the other half protecting pastors from toxic congregations.”
According to research compiled by Speed Leas, after undergoing professional conflict resolution processes, 47 percent of congregations met most of their goals, 25 percent reached some of their goals, 22 percent showed no improvement and six percent developed even deeper conflict.
In 2012, $683 million was spent on church conflict and resolution.
Jesus trained the disciples in conflict
A case can be made that Jesus set up a living laboratory of conflict and conflict resolution. He did this within his group of 12 apostles. These men had various backgrounds and unique personalities.
The New Testament does not hide the fact that James and John were ambitious and headstrong. Even though they were among the youngest of the disciples, they sought to push ahead of the others.
According to professor William Barclay in The Master’s Men (p.117), “It must be regarded as extremely probable that James, the son of Alphaeus, Simon the Zealot, Thaddaeus or Judas, and Judas Iscariot were bound together by the bond of intense and fanatical patriotism, and all four may well have once belonged to the Zealots.” Some Zealots were actual assassins. It should be noted that the word “Iscariot” can be connected with the word sicarius which means dagger-bearer.
Contrast these men with Matthew, a tax collector, who was considered by many Judeans to be a collaborator with Herod Antipas, the vassal of the hated Roman government. Had Matthew and the Zealots met outside their relationship with Jesus, the Zealots would have sought his demise.
We should also recall that according to Matthew 10:34, Jesus declared: “I have not come to bring peace, but a sword.” The parallel passage in Luke 12:51 replaces the word “sword” with the word “division.” Jesus also claimed to be the “Light of the World” (John 8:12). When the light pierces the darkness, the critters scatter, the demons cringe and the truth is revealed.
A conflict alert system
Some components of such a system include emphasizing to new members that no church is perfect. The longer one is a part of any group there is a greater chance to become disappointed.
Many wise congregations keep track of patterns of members’ attendance, offering and involvement, looking for signs of change. Some churches list two or three trusted persons as “gripe gatherers” who will see that issues are communicated to the right place for action.
Other churches have trained certain members with in-depth listening skills to not onlyhear hurts, but help healhurts through care and prayer.
The biblical model is not to simply be nice to people but to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15).
Hope … by God
Consultant and author Kennon Callahan asserts: “Hope is stronger than memory. Salvation is stronger than sin. Forgiveness is stronger than bitterness. Reconciliation is stronger than hatred. Resurrection is stronger than crucifixion. Light is stronger than darkness.”
Photo source: istock
 | Jim Farrer is the founder of Vital Signs Church Consulting and a member of the Society for Church Consulting. A broadly-trained church consultant, Jim is also a veteran of ministry positions in Canada and the U.S., he has trained leaders from 18 denominations and led seminars and coaching sessions nationwide. His articles have been published in the Journal of Evangelism and Missions and the Great Commission Research Journal. You can reach him by e-mailing revup1@yahoo.com or calling 814 629-5211. Learn More » |
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