How do you kill the cynicism inside you?
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ChatGPTIs any part of you growing cynical?
I think you know what I mean.
I have to:
- Fight the 'been there" "done that" and "I can explain that in ten seconds if you let me" tendency that comes with having lived a while.
- After feeling burned, battle the "I don't think I'm going to trust anyone again" impulse.
- Work at staying hopeful when I see some people make the same mistake over and over again.
Can you relate?
Cynicism is simply the general distrust of others or a lack of hope in people or their desires. At its worst, it becomes jaded negativity, skepticism, contempt, or scorn.
The number of cynics around me amazes me and discourages me. Cynics never change the world. Instead, they tell you how they know why the world can't change.
And yet, most people as they live a little, find themselves fighting cynicism.
So how do you battle it?
I wonder if there is a link between cynicism and curiosity.
Ever notice:
- Cynical people are rarely curious.
- Curious people are almost never cynical.
Some of my favorite people are relentlessly curious.
The ones who:
- Never stop learning
- Ask great questions
- Are interested in others and in new experiences
- Don't settle for standard answers
- Push the boundaries
- Smile when no one else does
- Believe when most people don't
- Widen their universe when everyone else is narrowing theirs
The curious do these things.
I've decided that I want to become more curious, not less curious (which seems to be the normal pattern) as I get older.
I just might help battle that nascent cynicism that always threatens to buy more real estate.
So how do you become more curious?
Schedule thinking time.Business is the enemy of wonder, among other things. You can't wonder when you're in a hurry.
Click.When I read my Twitter or Facebook feed, I find if I click on the links and notes in other people's lives, I grow more curious. Particularly if they are not like me.
Ask more questions.Great leaders ask questions even more than they give answers. And people who ask questions are just more fun to be around, aren't they?
Give fewer answers.I have to check the tendency inside me to want certainty on everything. Giving fewer answers in everyday conversation can help.
Say I don't know.Because often it's way more true than we admit anyway. And saying "I don't know" can lead us to a better answer than we would have come up with on our own.
Say Yes.The demands of my life mean that 'no' has become a default answer (or more accurately, "I'd love to, but I'm afraid I can't").
While I'm a firm believer in saying no, everyone once in a while, says yes. Go to the party. Accept the invite.
While chronically saying yes can lead to a lack of purpose and a lack of focus in life, saying it every once in a while to new and interesting things can be good.
Wonder.Kids wonder. Adults stop wondering. Reverse the trend.
Stop taking things for granted.Gratitude can make you more open—to everything.
Ask why.Challenge assumptions!
Ask why not?Why not, after all?
Try to find connections between random things. I'm not scientific enough to know why this is important, but there is a link between many things. Somehow it's all connected.
Read outside of your area. You can do this in a big way (buy a book on astronomy, for example), or casually. I use content-aggregating apps like Flipboard and Zite to help me read things I would never otherwise read.
Lose your fear.What's the worst that could happen? Right, you could die. Which you're not supposed to fear that much anyway.
Dream.You used to. Why stop now?
Get around some kids.They still believe. And might inspire you to do the same.
 | Carey Nieuwhof is a former lawyer and founding pastor of Connexus Church. He’s the author of several best-selling books, including, Didn’t See It Coming: Overcoming the Seven Greatest Challenges That No One Expects But Everyone Experiences. Carey speaks to leaders around the world about leadership, change and personal growth. Learn More » |
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