Gritty leadership: How to stick it out, when you’re stuck (part 2)

Bob Whitesel Jan. 2, 2023

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In part 1 we learned that Angela Duckworth's book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseveranceand thought-provoking TED talk describe some of the most important skills for long-term leadership success. And, we looked at the first two of five things you can do to stick it out, when you're feeling stuck. Action one was, "Try something similar, but new." Action two was "Accomplish something, even if it is small." Now let's look at three more actions that can help you stick it out when you are fed up with what you're doing and ready to quit.

3. Change up your support system.

This may be one of the more challenging steps, but is often necessary because church leaders over time surround themselves with individuals who only reinforce the leader's existing viewpoints. In most scenarios, leaders aren't getting outside input, but rather getting internal confirmation. This is called "affinity bias." Leaders experience this because they gravitate toward people with whom they share a connection. The result is that people with outside ideas are pushed away or blocked out. People around you are telling you what is the best thing to do and you're usually going to believe it without looking at all the options.

So change up your support system and look for people who are outside your usual network. Look for those who will bring innovative ideas. But be careful not to create division by listening to people who are divisive. Instead look for the "peacemakers" Jesus describes in Matthew 5:9. I've written that "Leaders interpret this as a 'go-between' or 'diplomat' between warring factions. But the Greek does not carry an idea of 'go-between' but rather, 'keeping aloof from sectional strifes and the passions which beget them, and living tranquilly for and in the whole'." These are the people who find the commonality and good in different viewpoints. So switch up your support system, especially if it has developed into an affinity bias toward your ideas.

4. Recognize the power of grit.

Pick up Angela Duckworth's book, read it or reread it again. Then introduce her short but powerful TED Talk video to your leaders. Help your leaders see that one of the most important aspects of leadership is the ability to stick it out when all you want to do is give up. The Bible is replete with messages about perseverance, including this helpful paraphrased translation of James 1:2-4 (MSG):

"Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way."

5. Look ahead further.

Finally, look farther into the future and look further than to which you're accustomed. If you're thinking about retirement in 4-5 years, look 6-10 years ahead and ask yourself, "What kind of relationship do I want congregants to have with me in 10 years?" Start looking further ahead. This that will give you a chance to focus on long-term goals rather than short-sighted barriers.

And, if you're thinking about quitting a church, look at where you might be in five years. Will you be in the same situation, ready to quit another church five years from now, because you're leading in the same manner? Or in five years will you regret that you left this church, because your kids might've enjoyed another 3-4 years in the same school system? Look ahead further and spend more time concentrating on what the future holds. Paul reminds us that is what sustained him, in

"I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back."

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Bob Whitesel (D.Min., Ph.D.) is a foresight coach, professor, and award-winning author of 14 books. For over 30 years, he has guided leaders and churches to pivot and engage what’s next. He holds two earned doctorates from Fuller Theological Seminary and teaches on leadership foresight, church health, and organizational change. His website is www.ChurchForesight.com. Learn More »

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