Criticism is feedback, feedback is growth
For years I looked at criticism as negative words meant to tear me down.
I think much can be learned from others' comments and responses to teaching, preaching, and any other communication. I have found criticism should be viewed as feedback. Feedback is information returned from information received.
I preached a message in Hawaii a few years back. It was a beautiful Sunday morning and the church overlooked gorgeous Kaneohe Bay. I could feel God's presence on that morning! When I got done preaching, I felt it was the most heart-felt, spirit-filled, passionate message that I had given yet.
I mean, I poured my heart out and let God lead the way. After the message, like any speaker should, I went out and met some of the church people and wished them a great week as they left.
Just as I thought everyone had cleared out, I was approached by an older gentleman that had some thoughts about my message.
As he unpacked his frustrations, I kept thinking to myself, "Man, can a preacher not just get one weekend without someone having issues with the message?!"
In that moment God dropped some Bible on my heart.
James 1:19 teaches that we should be slow to speak and quick to listen, and that we should never allow the thoughts and opinions of another make us angry. You see, God put that man there that day to check my heart.
Opinions, feedback, and criticism all come from an emotional response to a message received, and it is impossible for me to anticipate every reaction. In this moment God taught me a few things.
Feedback is personal and powerful.
This gentleman approached me because he needed to share his heart. Something I said impacted him in a way that didn't create peace and unity in his heart.
Matthew 18:15 teaches us, in times such as these, to approach our brothers and sisters and talk it out. He felt that God was leading him to help me see another perspective and feel from another's experience.
In this moment I got to hear the message from the seat of another, and that is a gift. This man's critique, or feedback, came from a place of love and care for me as a leader and it helped me to understand that not everyone received the message in the way that I intended, and as a preacher I must always be thinking of those I am speaking to.
If I want to lead others closer to God, I need to be able to understand how they're receiving the message. His feedback was powerful.
Not all feedback is applicable, but all feedback is relevant.
I remember times in church growing up where my youth pastor said something I just didn't understand or agree with. This is (and was) because I came to church with my own presuppositions about faith that I had learned from the world around me.
There were moments I wanted to approach my youth pastor and let him know I didn't agree with him. Looking back on it now, I'm so glad I didn't because I knew absolutely nothing about the Bible and only a little about who Jesus was.
However, in Hawaii, I was now to this man what my youth pastor was to me. You see, his feedback was relevant because it was a natural, emotional response to what I said and taught.
This is exactly what we want as pastors! We want to know that our people connect spiritually and emotionally to the Word of God.
When we get feedback that isn't biblical, or comes from a misguided presupposition, we get the beautiful opportunity to come alongside a brother or sister and disciple them.
When the feedback is relevant or confirmed by others, we've been given the opportunity to grow and get better. So, in this moment with this gentleman, I chose to be thankful for his perspective and show him the same love, care, and receptiveness that he showed me for the 35 minutes that I was at the podium.
I could have easily taken this gentleman's comments as a negative, critical response to my message, but by viewing it as a true emotional response, I allowed him the opportunity to help me grow.
We are the lid to our own growth when we choose not to view others' thoughts – and criticism – as opportunities to learn, shift, grow, and pursue God together.
Criticism is feedback and feedback is growth.
 | Sean Lord is a pastor, husband, and father. He enjoys writing about leadership, theology, and ministry. He served in the U.S. Marine Corps and currently pastors at one of the largest churches in the U.S. He spends much of his time mentoring and coaching pastors as well as leaders outside of the church. Learn More » |
More on Conflict & Criticism
- Unique problems grow you uniquely (by Richard Blackaby)
- They tried to quiet Charlie Kirk—but the gospel still speaks (by Bob Russell)
- The power of an unoffendable heart (by Tom Crenshaw)
- How did Jesus deal with animosity? (by Chris Bolinger)
