College admissions scandal—what Christians should learn
Recently, dozens of American parents were indicted for their alleged involvement in a college admissions cheating scandal. Hollywood celebrities and wealthy elites “gamed the system” to get their children into Yale, Stanford, and other exclusive schools through fraudulent test scores and other means.
While many will cluck their tongues and judge those who were charged, I see this as a teachable moment that pastors and church leaders can use to remind their congregations of the need for integrity. And, how setting their eyes on worldly goals can produce disastrous consequences.
Primary motivation
What motivates parents to break the law, shove aside more deserving students, and put their children at risk of exposure—and possible arrest?
One motivator is the parent’s ego. Many insecure mothers and fathers live vicariously through their children. They imagine boasting, “My daughter attends Yale” somehow gives them more status than if their child enrolled at State University.
It’s the same egotism I observed in a dad recently who kept screaming at his son during a fifth-grade basketball game: “Chad! Take over the game!" I’m reasonably confident that father gets a vicarious thrill from his son being the leading scorer on his fifth-grade team.
The second motivation is well-intentioned, but misdirected love. Overly protective parents are so determined that their beloved children not experience any hurt that they run interference for them from the time they are in preschool.
These “helicopter” parents hover over their kids, protecting them from pain throughout high school and college. God forbid that their child should suffer the disappointment of not being accepted at an Ivy League school.
Such overly protective parents can profit from reading a new book, The Coddling of The American Mind – How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation for Failure. Authors Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt suggest the “I” generation (internet) has been so coddled by controlling parents who shield them against any offensive ideas in the name of safety. These youth resist adventure and wind up living with their parents until they’re 30.
“A culture that allows the concept of ‘safety’ to creep so far that it equates emotional discomfort with physical danger is a culture that encourages people to systematically protect one another from the very experiences embedded in daily life that they need in order to become strong and healthy,” they write.
Spiritual lessons
Pastors, remind the parents in your midst that their descendants will have a much greater chance at reaching their potential if the parents:
(1) Allow their children to cope with difficulties and challenges on their own. Parents (and grandparents!), shouldn’t keep running interference for their kids or think their future is totally dependent on the parents. Parents shouldn’t isolate them from possible failure or pain, or push them beyond what they are gifted to do or personally desirous of becoming.
Self-awareness, the ability to relate to people, and the toughness to cope with stress determine success more than I.Q. scores or college degrees. Parents need to progressively give children exposure to the real world and quit trying to manipulate their future. And trust God to take care of them.
(2) Set a godly example for them. The most significant factor in determining any child’s future is an example of integrity at home. I believe that if parents have lied to get their child into a school, that child is much more likely to get expelled for cheating, jailed for breaking the law, or suffer from lifelong insecurity.
Children can pay a huge price for parental transgressions, or they can be impacted positively by their integrity. Remember: “A man reaps what he sows” (Gal 6:7).
(3) Teach their children that life’s primary goal is serving Christ. In the end, success isn’t graduating from Harvard, becoming a billionaire, being elected to high office, or achieving fame. Jesus asked, “What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?” (Mark 8:36).
Instilling values
Finally, remind them that they need to instill God’s Word in their children from infancy. Wise parents will say something like: “We want you to use your gifts to bring honor and glory to Jesus Christ. Ultimate success is hearing the words of Jesus at life’s end, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant’ (Matthew 25:23). You accomplish that, and we’ll be very proud of you . . . forever!”
Remind them too that good parenting is a marathon, not a sprint. And when the children instilled with wisdom and virtue reach the finish line, parents will be proud of them—and vice versa.
Photo source: istock
 | Bob Russell became the pastor of Southeast Christian Church at just 22 years old. That small congregation of 120 members became one of the largest churches in America, with 18,000 people attending the four worship services every weekend in 2006 when Bob retired. Now through Bob Russell Ministries, Bob continues to preach at churches; conferences throughout the United States, provide guidance for church leadership, mentor other ministers and author Bible study videos for use in small groups. Learn More » |
More on Family and Parenting
- What have smartphones done to our young people? (by Thom Rainer)
- The state of biblical fatherhood and the opportunity for the church (by Josh Kubler)
- Raising disciples: the role of fathers in spiritual growth (by Josh Kubler)
- The power of an unoffendable heart (by Tom Crenshaw)
