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In an era when there is so much toxic rhetoric and rancor in our media, many Christians feel that if there is one place in society that should be a place of solace, it is the church. Many perceive that the first century church was full of peace, contentment and mutual love.
The New Testament evidence reveals the opposite. Sooner or later, every modern congregation will experience some level of conflict. It may be exhibited in “pinch points” or on the other end of the scale—chaos and anarchy.
Naivete
Some of us desire to stay in innocence, that is—in denial. Various professional surveys published over 25 years reveal that 40 to 79 percent of congregations across denominational lines have had major conflict within the past five years.
Most individuals and most institutions have very little experience or training in conflict resolution.
Factors or reasons
According to Speed Leas in Should the Pastor be Fired? (p.7f), about half of church conflict can be blamed on a pastor’s professional or personal incompetence (46 percent) and about half on congregational factions (43 percent).
In this regard, numerous books list such parishioners as neurotics, crazy-makers, energy-zappers, well-intentioned dragons and clergy-killers. Pastor Stuart Briscoe remarked that the qualifications of a pastor were “the mind of a scholar, the heart of a child and the hide of a rhinoceros.”
We should note that Family-Systems research indicates there is always more than one cause. Rather than placing all of the blame on the pastor or a person, the real problem is with the system.
Original sin
Professor Reinhold Niebuhr thought that a retort which appeared in the London Times Literary Supplement was substantially correct: “Original sin is the only empirically verifiable doctrine of the Christian faith.”
Roman Catholic author G.K. Chesterton agreed and said that this was validated by 3500 years of human history.
Secular workplace transference
When there is a lack of “say” in the secular workplace, some find they can “throw their weight around” as part of a church congregation.
Lack of Biblical background
In previous eras, almost every person knew what the 10 Commandments said about issues which led to conflict (e.g., covetousness and bearing false witness) and were familiar with the New Testament imperatives to put aside anger, wrath, malice, slander, abusive language and lies (Colossians 3:8-9).
The church is too nice
Conflict expert Peter L. Steinke has often quoted leadership consultant Rabbi Edwin Friedman: “Actually religious institutions are the worst offenders at encouraging immaturity and irresponsibility. In church or after church, some member is passively-aggressively holding the whole system hostage, and no one wants to fire him or force her to leave because it wouldn’t be ‘the Christian thing to do.’”
Lack of church discipline
Pioneer Presbyterian John Calvin advocated private admonitions and if necessary public censures including forbidding the “obstinate” from receiving Holy Communion.
Early Methodists followed suit and in their small group meetings encouraged personal confessions of sin before the group.
In the Anabaptist tradition, each small congregation is a covenantal community, not so easy to join and requires living up to stated promises.
Solutions
Proactive churches have trained certain members with in-depth listening skills to not only hear hurts, but help heal hurts through care and prayer. In addition, they list a group of “gripe-gatherers” to whom parishioners may address their concerns.
Some strong unified congregations spend several Sundays each year reviewing from the pulpit and in classes their core beliefs and behaviors/values. One healthy value may be to gauge every person, activity and group by the vision statement of the congregation.
The Biblical model is not to simply be nice to people but to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15).
Should not all of us be recognized under the term “extra grace required”?
Photo source: istock
 | Jim Farrer is the founder of Vital Signs Church Consulting and a member of the Society for Church Consulting. A broadly-trained church consultant, Jim is also a veteran of ministry positions in Canada and the U.S., he has trained leaders from 18 denominations and led seminars and coaching sessions nationwide. His articles have been published in the Journal of Evangelism and Missions and the Great Commission Research Journal. You can reach him by e-mailing revup1@yahoo.com or calling 814 629-5211. Learn More » |
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