9 quick insights about church conflict

Jim Farrer Sept. 26, 2021

my saved content

VIEW AS
A PDF

iStock

Does our ideal for the church include conflict? With many facets of society in turmoil, we often expect the church to be a place of solace, serenity and shalom. That hope and dream is not always realized.

1. Plenty of church conflict

Various professional surveys from 2001 until the present have concluded that between 40 and 79 percent of congregations have experienced conflict in a five-year period.

2. So many opinions

There is a bewildering range of expectations for congregations, clergy and members.

These differences are some of the reasons behind the 41,000 separate denominations and Christian organizations across the globe according to the Center for the Study of Global Christianity at Gordon Conwell Theological Seminary.

3. Plenty of nasty behavior

Professional counselor G. Lloyd Rediger in his book Clergy Killers describes those who stir up trouble as destructive, determined, deceitful and even demonic.

Numerous books list such parishioners as antagonists, misfits, neurotics, crazy-makers, energy zappers and well-intentioned dragons.

One is reminded of the Time magazine photo of the first church service on June 15, 2019, after the great fire at Notre Dame Cathedral. The priests were required to wear hardhats as they were surrounded by strong scaffolding.

However, professor Arthur Paul Boers in his book Never Call Them Jerks reminds us that "… we must focus not on 'difficult people' but on 'difficult relationships' and 'difficult behavior' – a subtle but crucial distinction."

4. Blame all around

Both Duke Divinity School professor William Willimon and Speed Leas of the Alban Institute related that in their experiences with incidents of church conflict, about half of the time the blame can be placed on the congregation and the other half on the pastor. Family-systems research indicates that the real problem is with the system as a whole and there is always more than one cause for conflict.

Perhaps some of the influence which contributes to the general nastiness may be affected by the principalities and powers of which St. Paul speaks in Ephesians chapter 6.

5. Withstanding conflict

To endure such influences, St. Paul commands that we put on the whole/full armor of God (Ephesians 6:11). The word "whole" is translated by New Testament professor Marcus Barth as the "splendid' armor.

And while we are also to gird our waist with truth (6:14), many versions of "the truth" about the reasons behind the conflict will be believed. Thus feelings will be hurt, members will leave and some friendships destroyed forever. Consultant Speed Leas reported that perhaps only 20 percent of the groups with which he worked said: Everything is fixed. Hallelujah!

6. First century church conflict

We need to be reminded that many portions of St. Paul's letters are his attempts to deal with congregational conflicts. In addition, the letters to the churches found in chapters 2 and 3 of the Book of Revelation concern the loss of the love they had at first, being caught in Satan's sway, conflicts over idol worship and fornication, listening to false prophecy, apathy to the point of death and lukewarm faith.

7. Isn't anger normal?

Anger is an emotion which God built into our DNA. Indeed Ephesians 4:26 reads: "Be angry" or more precisely you must continue to be angry. This comes as a surprise to some. The verse continues "but do not sin." British Bible expert F.F. Bruce shares this caveat: "There is no doubt a proper place for righteous indignation; but there is a subtle temptation to regard my anger as righteous indignation and other people's anger as sheer bad temper." In addition this verse should be read in the full context of chapters 4 and 5.

8. A role for critics and enemies

Critics can play an important role. They can alert the leaders that the vision of the church is not clearly defined or when leaders are not listening or unaware of or not responding to issues. It is easy to become defensive and call our critics enemies. Perhaps an adversary may be an angel in disguise (Hebrews 13:2).

9. Is love the answer?

Generic love is not the answer. The New Testament uses several words in the Greek language for love. However, brotherly love and erotic love are not used in 1 Corinthians 13 which has been called the "love chapter." The word choice is "agape´," God's kind of covenant love. This is a self-giving, best-in-the-long-run kind of love which reflects the character of the Most High God and the Lord Jesus. This is the same word Jesus uses in Matthew 5:44 when he says: "You must continue to love your enemies."

my saved content

VIEW AS
A PDF

Jim Farrer is the founder of Vital Signs Church Consulting and a member of the Society for Church Consulting. A broadly-trained church consultant, Jim is also a veteran of ministry positions in Canada and the U.S., he has trained leaders from 18 denominations and led seminars and coaching sessions nationwide. His articles have been published in the Journal of Evangelism and Missions and the Great Commission Research Journal. You can reach him by e-mailing revup1@yahoo.com or calling 814 629-5211. Learn More »

• The power of an unoffendable heart (by Tom Crenshaw)
• How did Jesus deal with animosity? (by Chris Bolinger)
• Why does the term "social justice" divide so many? (by Chris Bolinger)
• Why a pastor did not survive a difficult church: an interview (by Thom Rainer)

Free eBook

Steps to Launching Your Personal Workplace Ministry

Have you ever felt the pull to full-time ministry work as a missionary or pastor? If not, you can still make a Kingdom impact without quitting your current job. In this eBook, you will learn the four essentials that can change your perspective of work, your workplace, and most importantly, your heart.

Download Now