5 ways to respond when life throws you a curveball

Charles Stone Dec. 4, 2018

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Curveballs in life are inevitable. Unexpected surprises can level us or become opportunities to learn. The curveball thrown to Joseph when Mary told him about her “surprise” pregnancy certainly caught Joseph off guard. The story in Matthew 1 gives us five insights on how to respond when life throws you a curveball.

Mary and Joseph were engaged to be married. Unlike engagements today, in New Testaments days when you became engaged it took a divorce to end the engagement. They were both young and looked forward to a long life together and then Mary dropped the bombshell. Not only was she pregnant, but she explained it to Joseph with a story about how the Holy Spirit brought it about. This was a double whammy for Joseph: his fiancée was pregnant and she made up some crazy story…two curveballs.

Here’s what we learn from Matthew’s account.

When life throws you a curveball…

1. Don’t act on impulse by doing what first comes to your mind.

In Joseph’s case, probably the first thing that came to his mind was the normal protocol for adultery at that time, a public divorce. However, because he loved Mary, he didn’t want to shame her publicly and mar her chances of marrying a decent guy in the future. Impulse didn’t dictate his decision. Rather, his character did.

Principle: Grounded people resist impulsivity. 

2. Draw upon Christ-centered character.

Matthew 1:19 paints Joseph as a righteous man. That meant that he was a good man, a compassionate man, a man of character, a man faithful to God’s commands. Rather than acting on impulse, he acted upon his deeply embedded values. He decided that a private divorce (much like a settlement out of court) would spare Mary from disgrace.

Principle: Christ-formed beliefs should determine our behavior. 

3. Face, don’t deny your fear, worry or anger.

Before Joseph acted, an angel appeared to him in a dream and told him not to be afraid to take Mary home as his wife (Matthew 1:20). The Gospels tell us that God spoke to Joseph four times through angels. God knew that Joseph felt fear, so he spoke to Joseph about it. 

When curveballs hit us, it’s normal to feel anger, fear, anxiety or worry. Our fight-flight-freeze centers in our brains automatically evoke feelings that we can’t avoid. However, denying or stuffing them actually makes them more intense.

Principle: We can’t avoid feelings, but we can determine their expression. 

4. Stand upon the bedrock fundamentals of your faith.

It wasn’t until I studied this passage deeply that I realized how it illustrates several core fundamentals of our faith. Focusing our attention on core doctrines gives us hope and confidence when a curveball hits us. Here are four fundamentals:

• The Holy Spirit dwells in us to—among other things—comfort us and give us wisdom in our responses (Matthew 1:20).
• The virgin birth and the incarnation encourage us that our faith is based upon supernatural, life-changing truth (Matthew 1:23).
• Salvation in Christ alone reminds us that Jesus came to a crib to go to a cross to offer us forgiveness of sins (Matthew 1:21).
• Fulfilled prophecy provides evidence that Jesus was who He says He was (Matthew 1:22-23).

Principle: Undeniable truth forms the bedrock for Christianity. 

5. Obey God’s promptings.

After the dream, Joseph obeyed God and took Mary as his wife. Just as God acted in unconventional ways to bring about Jesus’ conception in the womb of Mary, so sometimes we must obey in unconventional ways. Joseph didn’t take the expected path of divorce. Instead, he went against the then current social morals to do the right thing by marrying Mary.

Principle: Obedience to God may take you into uncharted territory. 

During this Christmas season, if life throws you a curveball, look to these truths in this Gospel story. You’ll find encouragement, hope and direction.

Photo source: istock

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Charles Stone coaches and equips pastors and teams to effectively navigate the unique challenges ministry brings. By blending biblical principles with cutting-edge brain-based practices he helps them enhance their leadership abilities, elevate their preaching/ teaching skills, and prioritize self-care. A pastor for over 42 years, he has served as a lead pastor, associate pastor, and church planter. He published seven books, and over 300 of his articles have appeared on various Christian leadership websites. He holds four earned academic degrees, including a D.Min. and a Ph.D. Learn More »

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