5 ways to build your integrity
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While it can be hard to spot in the early stages, there are at least five signs that show you lack integrity.
It's one thing to know you might lack it in certain areas, but the question is how do you reverse that? How do you build integrity? How do you develop it?
Integrity is about more than just doing the right thing; It's about building the kind of character that can survive a crisis intact.
In the same way a building that has integrity can survive a storm, a life that has integrity can do the same.
So, how do you build integrity?
#1 Be ruthlessly honest with yourself.
Of all the lies we tell, the ones we tell ourselves are the most deadly.
Question your motives.
Stop justifying what you know to be wrong.
Stop excusing yourself.
#2 Seek wise counsel.
We all have blind spots. It's one thing to be honest with yourself, but sometimes you and I are just blind to faults others can see.
Find three or four people who believe in you and ask them for feedback on your life.
#3 Decide to honor God, not please people.
Doing the right thing is almost never the easy thing, and sometimes it's not the popular thing.
Honoring God is not the same as believing you are always right and everyone else is wrong—it simply means you are going to live with a long view of what to do, informed by scripture.
It means enduring short-term pain for longer-term gain.
To avoid becoming arrogant or deluded, make sure you test what obedience looks like for you not only against scripture and prayer, but also with your circle of wise counsel (see above). They will see things you can't see.
#4 Be appropriately transparent.
We'd all like to be something we're not. Admit your shortcomings.
You don't have to tell everyone what you're struggling with, but you need to tell someone.
Part of being honest with yourself is being honest with others. And as much as you might be afraid that everyone will think less of you, living transparently and not pretending to be someone you aren't will actually make people think more of you.
It's counter-intuitive. It's also transformative.
#5 Put yourself first when it comes to personal growth.
I know that sounds selfish, even unbiblical, but I'm not sure it is.
Jesus prepared for thirty years before ministering for three. During those three years, he often disappeared to pray. You can only give what you've got. And he spent whole seasons of his life receiving from God what he needed to give to the world.
Cancel some appointments. Tell the kids to wait. You need to build a solid spiritual, emotional, and relational foundation for your life.
Pray. Open the Bible (for you—not for anyone else pastors). Go for a run. Eat something healthy. Go for dinner with a friend who gives you life.
If your cup is empty, how are you going to fill anyone else's?
 | Carey Nieuwhof is a former lawyer and founding pastor of Connexus Church. He’s the author of several best-selling books, including, Didn’t See It Coming: Overcoming the Seven Greatest Challenges That No One Expects But Everyone Experiences. Carey speaks to leaders around the world about leadership, change and personal growth. Learn More » |
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