4 reasons you aren’t merry this Christmas
Years ago I read a book entitled, Happiness is a Choice.The author talked about the scientific evidence to support this theory. Famous people swear by it. There are even 12 steps to becoming happy.
If all that is needed is to make the right choices or follow one of these plans, why aren’t we happy? This should be a Merry Christmas for all of us.
Recently, I expressed to God that I wasn’t very happy and, well, I was blaming Him. Instead of Him turning it back on me and pointing out something I had done or not done, He challenged my way of thinking.
God pointed out that I was never content. I always wanted more. If I could learn to be content, as the apostle Paul would say, “in whatsoever state” I found myself in, I could be happy.
Many of my patients like to say, “It is what it is.” I liken that comment to what my son’s kindergarten teacher use to tell her class around snack time, “You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.”
I think God was saying the same thing only in a much more loving way. What He helped me understand was that I had a problem of always wanting more, not in terms of material things or the attachments of the flesh, but in terms of opportunities to do more for Him. I wanted the opportunity to do what I thought was more important and significant.
Here are four faulty ways of thinking that interfered with my contentment and happiness.
1. I thought I deserved more
I wouldn’t have said it this way, but it was a true statement. I had served faithfully, put in long hours, made a few sacrifices along the way and experienced a few hardships that I hoped would earn me a few points in the way I had handled them. I’ll be honest, I was proud of myself. That should have been a warning sign right there, but it wasn’t.
2. I didn’t like the way it made me feel
I recognized that trials would come and I had no problem with that. What I didn’t like was that I didn’t feel special. Being one of God’s chosen, His beloved and one of His own, felt good and lasted for a while, but I thought there would be more.
3. I didn’t like what God was doing
The truth is I didn’t understand God’s ways, mainly because they weren’t my ways. I thought He should act in ways that resulted in outcomes I had envisioned as opposed to how things were turning out.
4. I didn’t think I needed to do things God’s way
The bottom line: I wasn’t willing to accept God’s way as better than mine. Again, I would never have said such a ridiculous thing out loud, but it was quite apparent in my attitude what I thought of God’s way.
It’s easy to see how I could never be content given the faulty beliefs that I maintained. God wanted me to learn to be content with where I was at, with what I was given, with doing things His way and being satisfied with the results. I wasn’t better, I didn’t deserve better, there wasn’t anything better and I certainly couldn’t do any better.
I needed to learn to be content, to be happy with the state I was in and accept with joy, whatever God had in store for me.
William Gurnall wrote, “What God takes from us is less than we owe Him, but what He leaves us is more than He owes.” I think that sums it up pretty nicely.
Photo source: istock
 | Phillip A. Foster, Ph.D., as a psychologist and Director of AuthenticQuest.org, provides spiritual direction, counseling, training and consulting, to those in ministry or other roles of leadership in the church. He is the author of Here's My Heart, Lord; Parent With an Attitude, and Not Good Enough. Learn More » |
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