3 kind ways to deliver hard truth

Scott Cochrane Aug. 7, 2020

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The ability of a leader to speak the truth is not opposed to the idea of being kind. In leadership, speaking the truth is the very essence of kindness.

When leaders shrink back from speaking truth in the name of "sparing their feelings," they are, in fact, inflicting a cruel and unusual punishment.

This is not to say that leaders have a license to destroy people emotionally with harsh, insensitive rhetoric.

But the fact is, one of the kindest ways a leader can demonstrate value to a person is to caringly, but unflinchingly, share the following key truths:

1. "This is exactly what is expected of you…"

It is a cruel form of leadership to leave a cloud of uncertainty hanging over the head of team members with respect to expectations.

It should never be a matter of guesswork or supposition when it comes to the outcomes you expect from them.

Kindness begins by laying out, in explicit detail, what a "win" looks like for those you lead.

2. "This is how you are performing against those expectations…"

Good or bad, people want to know where they stand.

If they are surpassing your expectations, good, kind leadership requires that you tell them.

If they are successfully meeting your expectations, good, kind leadership requires that you tell them.

And if they are coming up short of your expectations, good, kind leadership requires that you tell them. This is not something you reserve for their annual "performance review." Kindness in leadership is expressed through ongoing evaluation and feedback.

3. "This is how you can improve…"

Having laid out the expectations you have for them, and having kept them informed as to how they are performing against those expectations, kindness next requires that you tell them how they can improve, regardless of their present level of proficiency.

Like you, the members of your team want to improve. They want to elevate their performance. And the kindest way you can respond is to clearly lay out what improvement would look like.

Kindness paints a clear path forward for improvement.

Make it your personal mission to lead with as much kindness as possible.

Just remember, truth is the kindest form of leadership.

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Scott Cochrane serves on the executive team for the Willow Creek Association, as Vice President, International Ministries. He was born and raised in Canada, where he became connected to the Willow Creek Association, first as a marketing director and later as the ministry’s Chief Operating Officer. Following a five-year stint as Executive Pastor of a large church, Scott returned to Willow Creek Canada in 2009 as Executive Director, and in 2012 relocated to Illinois to take up his current post with the Willow Creek Association. Learn More »

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